I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. John 15:15
What Jesus said to his disciples presents the
stark opposite of the culture of false images, or merely pretense, which we so
often find in today’s relationships. The
profoundness of this startles me, as well as draws me into its’ very center,
because it requires the destruction of every vestige of personal protection,
opening oneself to another human, unreserved, vulnerable, trusting, and without
recourse. It is to be naked of any
covering on who we are at our core. And,
to do that with another human being (given the knowledge of how that works out,
beginning with, say Cain and Abel) is, well, more than a rare miracle.
In C. S. Lewis’ fertile mind the clarity of such
a miracle produced a keen insight into true friendship:
In a circle of
true Friends each man is simply what he is: stands for nothing but himself. No one cares twopence about anyone else’s
family, profession, class, income, race, or previous history. Of course you will get to know about most of
these in the end. But casually. They will come out bit by bit, to furnish an
illustration or an analogy, to serve as pegs for an anecdote; never for their
own sake. That is the kingliness of
Friendship. We meet like sovereign
princes of independent states, abroad, on neutral ground, freed from our contexts.
This love (essentially) ignores not only
our physical bodies but that whole embodiment which consists of our family,
job, past and connections. At home,
besides being Peter or Jane, we also bear a general character; husband or wife,
brother or sister, chief, colleague, or subordinate. Not among our Friends. It is an affair of disentangled, or stripped,
minds. Eros will have naked bodies;
Friendship naked personalities.[1]
I believe this simplicity
of unmasked (or naked) personalities also carries with it much more in the way
of possible, if not necessary, complexity.
In fact the very unmasking of the complexity of our createdness by God
promises so much more. It is only when the human stands before God
and man, totally unclothed, devoid of excuses, choices, resources, or remedies
that we can truly be known, even to our own minds.
I believe this is what Jesus was uncovering for
his disciples in this declaration of friendship. If it is true that the unexamined life is not
worth living, the inverse shines just as brightly, and with more promise: the fully-examined life is the whole point
of living.
For You Today
You cannot create or demand
friendship; you can only recognize the presence or absence of it. Our calling is to do that, and treasure what
God has given.
You chew on that as you hit the Rocky
Road; have a blessed day!
Title image: source unknown W Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation©
For more posts on friendship see: The Last Great Race on Earth and
Blessed Enemy
[1] C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves, 1960, (Edition: http://www.samizdat.qc.ca/Ebooks/ ), p.49 (with
thanks to Brainpickings BY MARIA POPOVA)
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