Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every
way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. Ephesians 4:15 (NLT)
New
words pop-up when there’s a reason. In
the church the new words are “nones” (referring to those who did not have church
as part of their upbringing), and “dones” (those who have had enough
church and have left altogether).
There have always been both, but they were the exception, rather than
the rule. Today the words have become
necessary because the percentage of nones and dones
has risen along with the spirit of discontent in our culture.
There
are perhaps as many “reasons” people reject the church as there are hairs on my
head (maybe a few more!). I would like
to share with you today the growing list, in my head and heart, of responses to
rejecting
the church. It is by no means an
exhaustive list, but a beginning to a conversation I’m willing to have.
1.
Don’t reject the church to please anyone (especially your
kids)
Scripture
teaches adults to teach the children about God, his grace, forgiveness and love;
it’s hard to do that when you reject the church God loves.
2.
Don’t leave as a kneejerk-reaction
to conflict
Often
leaving the church is the out-working of a crisis of faith, and we are embarrassed
to “stick around”. Having your faith stretched
to the breaking point is common for everyone; leaving, or rejecting your faith
is a win in the enemy’s column.
3.
Don’t leave instead of working-through the issues
Speaking the truth in love
means working-through whatever threatens to break the fellowship. When you leave, or simply reject God’s family
because issues are tough to resolve, you leave just as troubled as if you
stayed – and the church is similarly troubled without your loving input.
And a final “do” instead
of “don’t”:
4.
Do speak to the pastor early on (before you’ve made
the decision to leave)
This may sound odd, but
many times people make the decision to leave, and, if they decide to talk with
the pastor at all, it is only to inform the pastor – usually on
the way out the door on a Sunday morning.
This is most odd, as a pastor’s purpose is to help equip the flock to do
the spiritual hard stuff of working-through the issues, and not just give-in to
the pressure. Yet, often the pastor is
the last one to know – and it is almost always 100% too late to change a made-up
mind.
Now, this is not all there
is to the issues surrounding why people reject the church,
“nones” or “dones” – but we have a starting point.
I’d love to hear your
input.
For You Today
If
God has placed you in a church family, give thanks for that family, warts and
all!
Be
reluctant to leave, but rather, instead of rejecting the church, be receptive
to God’s Spirit leading you how you may speak the truth in love and help the
church grow up into Christ’s love toward each other and the
community.
I
need that! We all need that! The church needs it, and God loves it!
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