That night there were
shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep.
Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of
the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They
were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great
joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the
Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And
you will recognize him by this sign: You
will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.” Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host
of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in
highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.” When the angels had returned to heaven, the
shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which
the Lord has told us about.” They
hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the
manger. After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone
what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. All
who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, Luke 2:8-18(NLT)
Be
happy with those who are happy,
and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15(NLT)
The ministry of presence is one of five promises we
make to each other, and to God when we become a part of His family – and in our
church family, known as the United Methodist Church. We talked about the ministry of prophetic
witness last week; the next two weeks we will look at the ministry of prayers,
gifts, and service.
For today: the ministry of presence – being with people
as they rejoice or weep. Shepherds do
plenty of both rejoicing and weeping; theirs is a tough life, so the weeping
comes naturally. The rejoicing we read
about in Luke’s Gospel was much less frequent, but they went to the manger that
evening, and were a rejoicing presence.
We will look at the what, when
and how
of the ministry of presence.
What is the “ministry of presence”?
Essentially it is being
“with” others, even if you don’t know what to say, how to act, or even if you
doubt the value of your presence in their life.
And to do this whether it is in times of rejoicing or weeping.
When is “ministry of presence” NEEDED?
The need for human presence
is almost incalculable.
In times of Fear
We are all afraid at
times. The ministry of presence brings
two or more together in order to dispel the fears we feel. If that ministry is done well, it heads off
fears that are tiny, so that they cannot grow and possess us.
When I was pastor in
Greenville, Florida, one of the members of that church was a good friend. JoeBall convinced me to go fishing with him
one day. We went off into the Gulf coast
in his flat-bottomed giant fan boat.
JoeBall sat in the captain’s chair and Russell sat on the ¼” aluminum
floor that separated us from the water.
It was a bumpy ride on this old back.
Later in the afternoon,
after not catching much, the water became choppy, and we were in for a
storm. JoeBall started across the bay as
a short-cut to the inland ramp where we were parked. I yelled out to him, “I thought it was too
rough out away from the shore; my back will crumble!”
He didn’t say a word, but
smiled all the way back to shore. When
we got back in his truck, I asked him, “Why’d you do that, JoeBall?” The smile got a little broader and he said,
“I reckon the Devil made me do it.”
It’s been twenty years, but we’re still in touch and we both
look back on those days, serving together.
I had very few friends I could l count on to help me take a little time
off, and times like riding with a wild man in an aluminum torture chamber
helped me stay centered and laugh.
JoeBall also claims I helped him a little with his life in Christ. Presence!
In times of Doubt
Jesus made sure we knew he
would be with us always, and that He would never leave or forsake us.[2]
Now, it’s obvious that Jesus
isn’t here in bodily form, so what did that mean? It meant the ministry of presence would be
conducted through us!
The fact that God exists
eternally in the unbroken fellowship of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – a
relationship of “presence” – should give us all the indication we need that His
creation, imprinted with the image of God on our souls will also treasure
presence.
God set it up that way, as
the continuing ministry of the Holy Spirit demonstrates; He indwells us with
His perfect presence, and expects His children to bring that presence to
others.
Our enemy, the devil, uses
as his chief weapon doubt. And so often
we take the bait. During one such time
when much had gone wrong for our family with sickness and financial woes, and a
job that wore me down like a ground-out tree stump, my dear friend Jerry
Hutchinson came to the house and sat with me for a good while. He couldn’t change any of my circumstances,
but having a brother to share the load gave me courage that I wasn’t
alone. Presence!
In times of Trouble
There are times when
circumstances overwhelm us. I have sat
with families whose loved ones ended their lives by suicide, and other families
who lost a loved one to farm accidents, automobile accidents and gun violence.
Trouble is everywhere; you
very seldom have to go seeking it – mostly it finds us.
One such time was when
Darrell and Tammy’s house burned down.
When I got there half the church was standing with them in the middle of
a mess; charred remains of their home, soaked by Fire Department water, stars
where the roof should have been. There
was a general feeling of loss, and what do you do next. In the midst of that chaos, none of us could
have put out the blazing flames, and none of us could rebuild their favorite
chairs, or pictures of children and family now in ashes; so we cried. We hugged and cried. Presence!
In times of Worship
The ministry of presence is
important in our gathering to praise God.
Connecting builds community, and your presence with others is so
important, the apostle Paul reminded us to make it a priority:
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as
some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his
return is drawing near. Hebrews 10:25(NLT)
A heresy that is trending
these days is seen in people who imagine that they are very spiritual – too
spiritual for “organized religion”. They
assume it is possible to have a great connection with God, while discarding the
church Jesus died to establish – and that same church for which Jesus will one
day return.
Others think watching
evangelists on TV will take the place of the ministry of presence of a local
church. Well, I suppose it could work if
you could get one of those televangelists to baptize, marry or do your funeral,
teach your Sunday School class, visit you in the hospital or show up when
you’re beaten down by one of life’s cruel circumstances. I’ve never seen it, but I suppose it’s
possible.
In times of Joy
Now, I really like having
saved the best of the “needed times” of the ministry of presence for the
last. Joy is in short supply in our
world. And that is especially so in
recent weeks and months with terrorist attacks and threatening war clouds.
The world needs a witness of
joy, and the church of Jesus Christ is full of souls that can provide a genuine
witness of joy
Years ago my bride was a
dental assistant. One day she went into
the treatment room where the dentist had just finished working with a patient,
an older man, who was reading his newspaper, waiting to be told he could go
home. Elizabeth was going to raise the
chair position to upright so the man would be comfortable until it was time to
go. She stepped on the pedal she thought
would raise the back, but it was the one that went the other way. The man plummeted downward, almost upside
down. Moving quickly, Elizabeth hit
another pedal and the chair spun to the left; another pedal spun the chair back
around and lifted it up to the balcony seats.
With each bouncy move the man’s newspaper flopped up and down; it was
like trying to read while riding a Brahma bull.
In the midst of it all the
man on this tilt-o-wheel circus ride started laughing. Elizabeth was mortified, certain she was
going to lose her job for this – or worse, kill her patient with this bucking
bronco chair. But she finally got the
unruly chair under control, and the man, still laughing tossed his newspaper
over his head. This started Elizabeth
laughing just as hard as her patient.
The man, with a grin spreading from east to west, remarked, honey,
you sure know how to show a fella a good time!
Joy is part of the ministry
of presence; just make sure you share it – don’t inflict it!
This ministry of presence is
being with people who need it, whether they know it or even admit that they
need it. And it is needed in so many
ways it’s impossible to even just list it here.
But let’s move along to
understanding some of the critical ways to answer our last question:
How is “ministry of presence” Practiced?
It’s one thing to be
convinced about “being with” others is appropriately a ministry; it’s quite
another to understand that there are some “do’s and don’ts” while you’re being
with…
The following list is not
exhaustive or new, but simply reminders of the common sense of Christian grace
applied in human relationships.
Concentrate on them…not yourself
When you don’t know exactly
what to say in a hurting circumstance, practice the art of listening. Most people going through a difficult time
have enough on their plate; don’t bring them any more bad news.
I have been in hospital
surgery prep rooms where a patient is obviously nervous about what is going to
happen, and a “concerned” friend or family member shares how “Uncle Homer had
the same operation; he didn’t make it, poor soul…but you’ll do fine, I’m sure.”
Resist the platitudes, like
“he’s in a better place” or “well, God needed another angel”. These sayings are not helpful; asking a
person how they’re feeling, and listening – really listening to their response
will tell you where to take the next part of the conversation. Or if you just need to sit and silently
listen.
Confidential
Anything told to you in
confidence assumes you have the confidence of that person to keep it in
confidence. That doesn’t mean it’s ok to
share it with just 10 of your closest friends as a prayer request.
If you think enlisting
others to pray is important, ask permission of the person who shared it with
you before talking to anyone else.
When it was announced at
Pleasant Hill that my book had been published, Jeff, who makes the
announcements, said to the congregation, Russell, I hope none of our names show up in
that book. We had a good laugh
together over that, but he made the point of privacy – confidentiality is a
sacred trust – don’t break it!
Considerate
If you’re making a hospital
or home visit, know when to leave. I
never stay more than 8-10 minutes in a hospital room, unless the patient grabs
me by the arm and says, please stay awhile longer. I’m serious; people who are suffering welcome
your concern, but they don’t need you to move-in with them.
Consistent
Do what you say you will
do! If you promise a check-back in a day
or so, or to pray for the person, or offer some assistance, if they accept your
offer, they’re counting on it. Don’t
forget to follow up.
Commiserate
To “commiserate” literally
means to suffer alongside. It
means you’ll do like my good friend Jerry did with me. He knew he couldn’t change my circumstances,
so he just sat with me until the tears dried a little. Commiseration means you enter into the
suffering as a fellow-traveler; it does not mean you can answer all the
questions, nor does it mean you even try.
In the first place, you’re
not God. Psalm 139:1 says that God
understands what’s in the human heart; what’s implied is that only God
understands that deeply.
Job’s friends come closest
to what it means to commiserate. When
all the bad stuff happened to Job – loss of his health, wealth, all his
children and even his reputation, those three came and put on sackcloth and
heaped ashes on their heads and sat in silence with Job for three days and
nights. They would have been held up as
perfect commiserating partners if they’d left it at that.
But then they opened their
mouths and tried to tell Job his problem was Job; he must’ve messed up badly
for God to treat him this way!
Let me end today with someone
else’s story. Writer Kenneth Wilson
tells of growing up in Pittsburgh:
That house in which we lived on the side of
one of Pittsburgh's hills was three stories high in the front and four in the
back. The bottom layer was the cellar
and the top was what we called the third floor, really a finished attic, the
ceiling of which was cut into shadowed geometric shapes by dormer windows. Up there were two bedrooms, a hallway, and a
mysterious storage room for trunks that always smelled of mothballs and history. Our family slept there, because the second
floor was usually rented out for a tenant to help pay the rent.
Kenneth remembers that, being the youngest,
he had to go to bed first, braving that floor of dark bedrooms. It felt like a long way up the steps,
especially because they did not have electricity above the second floor, and a
gas light had to be turned on, then turned off once the boy was settled.
That bed in that room on the third floor
seemed to be at the end of the earth, remote from human habitation, close to
unexplained noises and dark secrets. At
my urging, my father would try to stop the windows from rattling, wedging
wooden matchsticks into the cracks. But
they always rattled in spite of his efforts.
Sometimes he would read me a story, but inevitably the time would come
when he would turn out the light and shut the door, and I would hear his steps
on the stairs, growing fainter and fainter.
Then all would be quiet, except for the rattling windows and my cowering
imagination.
Once, I remember, my father said, "Would
you rather I leave the light on and go downstairs, or turn the light out and
stay with you for awhile?" . . . [I chose] presence with darkness, over
absence with light.[3]
Beloved, everyone may not choose
presence, or admit that they choose it, but it is how we are hard-wired; we need
presence, and God is more than willing to provide it to us as we
step towards Him. He takes up residence
in our heart by His Spirit, and is always ministering His presence to us.
He is also willing to go
with you to provide presence to others if you’ll take the courageous step to be
Advent to them.
[2] Matthew 28:20 & Hebrews 13:5
[3] Kenneth L. Wilson, Have Faith without Fear (Harper &
Row, 1970), p. 54; from Tim Jones's forthcoming book, Prayer's Apprentice
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