Bitter & Beloved

[1]

Monday, September 17, 2018

But as for me, I almost lost my footing.  My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.  For I envied the proud when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.  

Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside.  I was so foolish and ignorant—I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.  Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny.  Whom have I in heaven but you?  I desire you more than anything on earth.  My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.  Psalm 73:2-3, 21-28(NLT)

We have dogs!  That’s something of an understatement.  We have two old castaways who stole our hearts and would love to steal each other’s food.  Dinnertime is a test of ingenuity.  On Elizabeth’s and my part, feeding time means trying to keep the two little philistines from going to war over the last scrap to hit the floor; on their part it is working out the last details of stealth and distraction, so they can get what the other possesses!  Their bitterness and jealousy fade quickly into full bellies and lying next to each other in dreamland (they sleep 18-52 hours a day!).  Being dogs, they don’t hold on to bitterness.

In this Psalm the writer has a dawning/saving moment as he realizes the bitterness envy has created in him.  He realizes his mental stability and his relationship with God and all humanity is at risk because he has allowed the green monster of jealousy to take over. 

And in the next thought he marvels that, despite his wicked and envious, jealousy, despising others, God still loves him and even holds him close, gently guiding him back to the fold. 

In this instant of self-discovery and realization (that he is loved), the Psalmist blurts-out a doxology of praise:  Whom have I in heaven but you?  I desire you more than anything on earth…God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

Bitterness is a strange and repugnant quality; yet it is a condition that infects much of the human family.  Envy is a kissing cousin to bitterness; one follows the other with building blocks of misery.

In Stephen Crane’s poem, In the Desert[2], a rider has a conversation in the sand with a beast:

I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, “Is it good, friend?”
“It is bitter—bitter,” he answered;
“But I like it
“Because it is bitter,
“And because it is my heart.”

Bitterness spawns all kinds of terrorism in strange places – from preschool to the geriatric ward.  It guides the hand on the controls of a 747 crashing into a World Trade Center building or giving the order to annihilate a whole population.  It rests in dark places and never rests at all.  It is, as the Psalmist points out, that which makes its’ host all torn up inside…foolish and ignorant like a senseless animal.

If there is anything that can (and will) turn bitterness away and restore a dark heart, it is the unconditional love of God.  There is just something about being loved which calms and soothes the most ferocious of us, despite our bitterness and anger.

For You Today

It’s a good idea to periodically take some time to root out bitterness before the root of bitterness has a chance to be at home in your soul.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day.

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[1] Title Image: Photo Courtesy of Pixabay.com

[2] Stephen Crane, In the Desert, 1895, Copeland & Day (courtesy of Wikipedia)