Wednesday, December 9, 2020

The Unraveled Home

 

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Are we not all children of the same Father?  Are we not all created by the same God?  Then why do we betray each other, violating the covenant of our ancestors?  Judah has been unfaithful, and a detestable thing has been done in Israel and in Jerusalem.  The men of Judah have defiled the Lord’s beloved sanctuary by marrying women who worship idols.  May the Lord cut off from the nation of Israel every last man who has done this and yet brings an offering to the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.  Here is another thing you do.  You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure.  You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?”  I’ll tell you why!  Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.  Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife?  In body and spirit you are his.  And what does he want?  Godly children from your union.  So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.  “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel.  “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.  “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”  You have wearied the Lord with your words.  “How have we wearied him?” you ask.  You have wearied him by saying that all who do evil are good in the Lord’s sight, and he is pleased with them.  You have wearied him by asking, “Where is the God of justice?”  “Look! I am sending my messenger, and he will prepare the way before me.  Then the Lord you are seeking will suddenly come to his Temple.  The messenger of the covenant, whom you look for so eagerly, is surely coming,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.                            Malachi 2:10 – 3:1

A pastor acquaintance admitted to me of intentionally never preaching on the home and marriage because it was too controversial.  I reflected on that for a long time, and still don’t get it.  A pastor doesn’t get to pick the safe sermons – just ask any of the prophets, or apostles…better still, ask God if that’s OK.

As a confirmed introvert who despises conflict and confrontation, I do “get” the tendency to shy away from the hard topics, such as discord in the home, and the resultant divorce statistics now at incredible levels.  I get it, but what I don’t get is to choose to walk away from reading Malachi’s sermon out loud here. 

Now, I am not without compassion; any divorce is tragic and a heavy burden which will have lifetime consequences.  I’ve never experienced going through divorce, but I have listened long and often to others’ tales of woe.  The consequences and weight of ending a marriage and family home are judgment enough. 

But the fact remains:  Whatever the circumstances (and how they’re handled), those who once created a home by getting married, but now choose to end that home’s possibilities by divorce, Malachi’s words about God’s assessment are not unclear, God hates divorce.  More precisely, God hates it because of what it does to those he loves, both in the home, and in the greater community. 

The trap for most preachers, who have the temerity to speak on this problem of homes unravelling in our culture, is to get into the loopholes.  Those are the his fault, or her fault excuses for WHY the home came unglued.  In as kind a way as I can put this, that is not the issue.  The issue is THAT the home came unglued; that is what God hates.  God’s plan is for us to allow marriage to increase holiness both toward God, and towards each other, both those who form the home, and the communities in which those homes reside. 

Today the cultural mindset of marriage is too often a silly romanticism that imagines Snow White and her Prince riding off into the sunset for an extended vacation at a Caribbean resort.  When the perfect life image fades into work schedules, bill-paying, babies, and other non-fairy tale tough issues, the default is to get out quickly…he wasn’t much of a Prince Charming; she wasn’t very Snow White-ish. 

For You Today

Can we connect the dots?  The American home is unraveled quickly and almost without a second thought these days.  Could there be a connection with why American culture is also coming unglued?  When that which forms a structure is built on a slipshod foundation, that house will eventually crumble. 

Conclusion:  Forget investing $20K on a wedding and dream honeymoon; put your energy into learning how to be a God-honoring spouse.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day!

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Title image, Pixabay.com and    W   Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation©

For other posts on Marrige and Home see:  The Best Man Gives the Toast and The Strength of a Marriage  



 

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