As a precautionary measure, let me say up front: this might get ugly. Also allow me to mention that I’ve been in
trouble before, because I wrote, preached, and counseled in favor of Biblical
marriage. That being said, let me
introduce you to my dear friend, the Apostle Paul, also no stranger to being in
trouble. With one word Paul stirred two
millennia of arguments over marriage; that word: submit!
The problem is a matter of understanding the banquet table
of perspective Paul spread out for those contemplating living together as God
intended. It is often said that you
cannot build an entire theology of living on one passage of Scripture. (It’s said mostly by preachers who want to
survive being employed while telling the truth). What that means is too many people assume the
worst before they truly understand the perspective. I say that to (at least) gain a hearing for
these five minutes. After that you can
take me to the hangman if you’re so-inclined.
Paul’s troublesome word “submit” is abhorrent in today’s
culture, especially in a time when equality police are everywhere. The problem is many people don’t wait for the
context, or perspective. Submitting is
not subservience, or admission of a woman being weaker than a man. Rather, in context, and in light of all the
other stuff Paul wrote about women and men, it is a matter of entrusting common
sense to the woman. It isn’t a lower
respect for women’s ability, intellect, or place…it’s recognition
that mutual respect must start somewhere.
Paul understands that men are less likely to begin there. But if you’re having trouble wrapping your
mind around anything Paul writes as being less than
sexist, or antiquated gender-bashing, let his signature sentence to the
Galatian believers roll around your perspective indicator for just a moment:
There is no longer
Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female[1]. For you are all
one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28
So, why (begging the question of today’s topic) do many
marriages turn into war? The answer is
both a male and female failure to live together fulfilling their role, rather
than trying to protect their turf.
Imagine a man winning the affection of a woman. Then, after successfully convincing her to
marry him (making all his dreams come true), tries to live as independently as the
bachelor…while still claiming his “status” as a husband. Imagine the woman planning and pulling-off
the elaborate dream wedding (putting every strain possible on the credit
score). She then starts working on
arranging the rest of their lives according to what that romantic moment looked
like when she was the center of attention under that veil. This Mars vs. Venus approach is the perfect
storm setting for winding-up in divorce court, where the only benefit is to the
401K of the lawyers.
Rearrange the thinking to a man and a woman who listen
to Apostle Paul’s Godly advice. The man,
moving heaven and earth to love his wife (read that: do that which will support her in being the
strongest, most excellent woman possible).
That kind of man will trust, help, comfort, console when down, cheer
when accomplishing…and you’ve got that picture.
And, for the submit issue? There isn’t an issue when a woman’s got a man
like that!
For You Today
Love begins not with a
kiss, and the short-path to the bedroom, as seen on most of Hollywood’s
theological porn. Love begins
when there is mutual submission to God’s ways.
There are about 2,000 devotional
posts in the Rocky Road Devotions library.
To dig deeper on today’s topic read: The
Strength of a Marriage and Two Rings
[1] Images: Pixabay.com and Pixabay and Pixabay Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation©
[1] Emphasis added
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