When GOOD Becomes Enemy of BEST

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Monday, June 17, 2019

Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.  Always be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.  Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.  For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.  Ephesians 4:1-4

Every time I convince myself I’m done with it, that I’m not going to think about it, write about it, or care about it ever-again, the Apostle Paul gets in my way.  He’s like that, constantly reminding us about love.  And to use the word “love” there’s no sense of smarmy, warm and fuzzy emotionalism in the mix.  The Apostle’s “love” (of which Paul is not the originator, but merely the messenger) is that singularly God-like selfless love, agape’.[2]  In this is no room for emotion-driven, touchy-feely I’m OK-You’re OK drivel.  This kind of love is much more difficult, requires using your brain, and is eminently greater at fixing human relationships.  This love is what Paul was driving at when he challenges believers to live a life worthy of that to which God calls us.  Note the explanation:

Christians who wish to lead a life worthy of the calling to which they have been called, are obliged, in imitation of their Lord, to forbear one another in love, with all lowliness, meekness, and patience (Eph 4:2). That is, they are to exercise calm patience under provocation, avoid resentment and retaliation, be slow to judge and punish, and be ever ready to forgive (Phil 4:5; Col 3:13; 2 Tim 2:24).[3]

Paul got in my way with this, because he calls us to use every power, resource, and possible effort to stay united.  For someone who belongs to the tribe called United Methodist, them’s fightin’ words!  Well, at least it would seem so. 

I hate fighting, or conflict of any kind.  Perhaps I owe it to my hardwired nature to be shy, and introverted.  Perhaps it was my intoverted Mother’s training, or just the prevailing era’s mantra of not saying anything if you had nothing nice to say.  But, whether your profile is that of wall-flowering recluse, or highly-active drama queen, mixing it up in the latest bruhaha, you’re not even near baby understanding of God’s agape’ if you are just willing to sit and fume, or, worse, strike-back like a counter-punching president.  That is not anywhere in the same universe with forbearing or making every effort to keep united in the Spirit.

I fear for my tribe that we are descending into the hell of plotting, intrigue, and manipulation of institutional-infighting which is anything but forbearing one another, remaining humble and gentle; this has no chance at all at ending what has been a dividing war for decades.  And it’s the exclusive fault of neither one side nor the other…rather it is pure evil that drives separation of people who are called to the worthy (albeit quite difficult) task of being bound-together in selfless living, so the world may truly see God.

Admittedly there is “good” on both “sides” of the (not-nearly united) Methodist holy war.  Both want to be connected to God and serve Him.  Both want to be a blessing, not a curse.  Both sides want to grow in love and usefulness in the Kingdom.  But when that good intention becomes tainted with human need to control, own and manipulate in order to accomplish keeping their side of the elephant as holy, while disposing of the rest of the beast…well, let’s just say we have allowed the good to become enemy of the best!

For You Today

If you’re stuck in some holy war, and sides are taken, and you’re being pulled in either or both directions….STOP, think, be annoyed by the Apostle Paul’s call to get your stuff together under the tent of God’s kind of love, and choose to forbear, forgive, and bring together; that is the best that will cooperate with the Spirit to drive the combatants to examine their so-called good.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day.

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[1] Title Image: Pixabay.com     Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from The New Living Translation©

[2] In Greek, ἐν ἀγάπῃ

[3] Encyclopedia of the Bible

Families and Forgiveness - Part 2

Friday, April 18, 2014

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

What’s so good about writing a daily blog is whenever you have finished writing and posting today, if you find there’s a better way to say it, or if you could have said more but ran out of space….well, there’s always tomorrow.  Well, here’s part 2 about the forgiveness of my Uncle Charlie.

Today is Good Friday, the day of the beatings, mocking, cross-carrying, nails in the hands and feet, suffering, death and burial of our Lord. 

Where does Uncle Charlie fit in here?  (Beside the fact that, like so many of you, Uncle Charlie believed in the gift of Jesus’ suffering and death to bring our salvation).

Here are a couple things I didn’t get to say yesterday about the gift of forgiveness:

1.      Like God’s gift of the cross, Uncle Charlie gave to me something very dear to him.  My uncle had carried that gun through Europe and kept it safe since before I was born.  And when he gave it there were no strings attached.  That speaks very much of how loved I was, both by God and my uncle.

2.      When I came home without that gun I knew I’d messed up by losing my uncle’s treasure.  There was nothing I could do to “un-do” what had been done, or repay or replace the irreplaceable.  I also knew I could never live this one down; I would be “that kid who lost Uncle Charlie’s piece of history”.  But when I came to him, broken hearted, he simply said “what gun”?  Like God says to me now, what sin?

3.      When the gracious heart and hand of forgiveness was extended to me by an earthly uncle, it became my example and pattern to do that for others.  And it serves as a pattern for the calling of proclaiming and extending the Gospel of Jesus Christ to all persons.

There’s a bond which develops between those forgiven and those who have forgiven them.  That bond transcends keeping score; you just know there’s not much better trust than that. 

Over the years as I grew into the forgiveness extended to me, I learned to minister to others.  All along the way I had the prayers of my Aunt and Uncle, and during some dark times near the end of their lives I was given the privilege of ministering to them.

Today…for you

As you prepare for the darkness of Good Friday and then the glorious resurrection of Easter Sunday, let me encourage you to do the work of making room for others in your heart. 

You’ll be surprised how much stronger your voice will be when it’s time to shout, He is risen, indeed!

The Cost of Unforgiveness (Part One)

Monday – September 2, 2013

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you.  Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Colossians 3:13 (NLT)

This text reminds us of the importance of forgiveness, making allowance for each other’s faults (because we DO have them you know!); we forgive because we are forgiven.  Also note – there is no mention of a request for forgiveness (apology).

How are you at forgiving?  Do you make others come to you, groveling, before you’ll even consider it?  Do you say you forgive, and then keep bringing it up, rolling it around in conversation or just thinking about it until you unravel whatever forgiveness you might have given?  Have you not learned to forget to talk about another’s wrong towards you?

Maybe this will help:

Have you ever considered the cost of NOT forgiving?

I’ve known people who took a grudge to the grave.  Trust me – that is not something you want to carry into the next life, standing before the throne with belligerence and malice in your heart. 

Consider the Lord’s Prayer:  forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.  It’s a small line which connects these dots; our own sins are forgiven by God in exactly the same way we are willing to forgive others.  If you refuse to forgive, you place yourself outside God’s forgiving promises; not a good place!

What about the cost of DELAYING forgiveness?

There’s a bit of unwise advice which always makes its way into this discussion about forgiving others.   It is the idea of forgiving “too soon”.  You hear this expressed in a variety of ways: 

·        I’m not ready

·        She hurt me too deeply to forgive right now…

·        What he’s done is unforgivable; why…

The problem of withholding forgiveness is that the longer you hold something, the closer you are to owning it.  In this case, holding hate in your heart becomes a familiar, almost safe-haven for self-justification.  It is a control-device, holding the offender hostage; you have opted to retain power, rather than release the power of God to heal both you and the offender.  When you won’t participate in healing, you prolong the sickness of strife and division.  

Harboring unforgiveness is like going for a test drive at the car dealership. 

The salesman wants you behind the wheel, smelling the new leather seats, feeling that power as you accelerate, and the smooth way that baby handles the curves.  It’s a known fact of human behavior – once you take it for a test drive, you’re half-way to signing on the dotted line.

When you delay forgiving, you also harbor anger or resentment, foolishly thinking it is only a delay against a later, more “convenient” time to forgive.  What you have really accomplished is to place yourself in the driver’s seat of a car you really would never choose to buy (under more sane conditions).  In short, you’re participating in revenge!  Who wants the power of crippling another person held in his hands like a car key?

Tomorrow

In tomorrow’s post we will talk more about how to go about forgiveness. 

For today – get forgiveness on the prayer agenda.  And if you have trouble finding a place to start, start like the man whose child was ill.  He asked Jesus to heal the child.  Jesus told him all things were possible with faith.  He said “I believe; help my unbelief”.

So….I will forgive; help my unforgiveness!