Passover: An Introvert's Nightmare

 

Monday, January 16, 2023

“Take special care of this chosen animal until the evening of the fourteenth day of this first month.  Then the whole assembly of the community of Israel must slaughter their lamb or young goat at twilight.  They are to take some of the blood and smear it on the sides and top of the doorframes of the houses where they eat the animal.  That same night they must roast the meat over a fire and eat it along with bitter salad greens and bread made without yeast.  Do not eat any of the meat raw or boiled in water.  The whole animal—including the head, legs, and internal organs—must be roasted over a fire.  Do not leave any of it until the next morning.  Burn whatever is not eaten before morning.  “These are your instructions for eating this meal:  Be fully dressed, wear your sandals, and carry your walking stick in your hand.  Eat the meal with urgency, for this is the Lord’s Passover.  On that night I will pass through the land of Egypt and strike down every firstborn son and firstborn male animal in the land of Egypt.  I will execute judgment against all the gods of Egypt, for I am the Lord!  But the blood on your doorposts will serve as a sign, marking the houses where you are staying.  When I see the blood, I will pass over you.  This plague of death will not touch you when I strike the land of Egypt.  Exodus 12:6-13

The last thing an introverted person wants is drawing attention to oneself.  To speak-out, be called-out, or go-public makes us break-out in the night sweats.  Passover was the epitome of that.  Slaughtering a lamb and painting its blood on the door posts and lintels was being public of a no-turning-back variety.  Everyone would see your faith…there was no going back.

Christians make a big deal of the fact that God is after our hearts much more than any public ceremony or disclosure.  Faith is an internal thing.  However, there’s no denying blood on the doorposts as being a very public thing.  Frankly, this is where the rubber meets the road.  Internal faith is somewhat useless if it never finds itself coming out of the closet.  Apostle James nailed it without holding back:

…faith without works is dead?  James 2:20b^(KJV)

In Eugene Peterson’s The Message, he takes James’ statement a little further with this picturesque description:

Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands?  James 2:20b^(TMSG)

And this understanding leads to the Introvert’s Nightmare:

Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds?                  I will show you my faith by my good deeds.”  

James 2:18

There comes a time when the internal nature of faith must take a deep breath and come out in Kingdom-serving.  The private is of no use if it disdains of ever going public.

For You Today  

If you’re an introvert by nature (like me), this is hardly an easy concept to embrace.  And if you imagine for one moment it was easy to surrender to a life of standing publicly in Christian ministry…you have no idea of who I am.  (It even pains me, after more than 40 years in public ministry, to talk about it).  So, what’s a guy who doesn’t like being in the center of things doing in the center of public ministry?  Two answers…both vitally-true:

1.    He wants to be obedient to the One who called him.

2.    He doesn’t want his internal faith to die for lack of external deeds.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day!

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There are about 2,000 devotional posts and 400 sermons in the Rocky Road Devotions library.  To dig deeper on today’s topic, explore some of these: 

Seder - Meal of Haste  and  Ready to Travel

Images:  Title Pixabay.com   Images without citation are either personal property of the author, or in public domain.

Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation^©   

Ready for the Banquet

 

Monday, March 28, 2022

After this, I heard what sounded like a vast crowd in heaven shouting, “Praise the Lord!  Salvation and glory and power belong to our God.  His judgments are true and just.  He has punished the great prostitute who corrupted the earth with her immorality.  He has avenged the murder of his servants.”  And again their voices rang out:  “Praise the Lord!  The smoke from that city ascends forever and ever!”  Then the twenty-four elders and the four living beings fell down and worshiped God, who was sitting on the throne.  They cried out, “Amen! Praise the Lord!”  And from the throne came a voice that said, “Praise our God, all his servants, all who fear him, from the least to the greatest.”  Then I heard again what sounded like the shout of a vast crowd or the roar of mighty ocean waves or the crash of loud thunder:  “Praise the Lord!  For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns.  Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him.  For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself.  She has been given the finest of pure white linen to wear.”  For the fine linen represents the good deeds of God’s holy people.  Revelation 19:1-8

If this moment was a group meeting, and it was my turn to introduce myself, it might go like this:  Hello; I’m Rusell…I’m an introvert.  The truth is, as a rule, I despise big crowds.  Banquets are always a source of angst.  Oh, I’m not against food; I’m rather a fan of the stuff!  But it is the engagement, being on your toes, socially (which doesn’t come naturally to an introvert).  If I’m hosting, it’s my job to make sure everyone experiences hospitality…a good time.  If I’m a guest, I’m committed to be appreciative and respectful – to help everyone else have a good time.  It’s exhausting to say the least.  The next two days are revovery mode!

That being said, there is one banquet I’m eagerly awaiting, the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.  The reason this introvert is so looking forward to a gathering bigger, and more intricate and socially-non-distanced has to do with the eschatological timeline of Christ’s return to clean up the mess that is humanity, and her habitat, planet earth.  It is the beginning of eternity, a place where time disappears, and perfection is completed. 

Everything, relationships, strength, health, justice, and peace (just to name a few we can’t seem to get right in this life)…all this will be as God intended, restored to God’s perfect will. 

And the banquet…it will be the greatest celebration of reunion with saints of all time. 

     ·       It will be the culmination of what God promised to humankind in the Garden of Eden. 

     ·       It will be the treasure of the rainbow God displayed to Noah after the flood. 

     ·       It will be the fulfillment of an empty tomb’s promise. 

     ·       It will be the backdrop for when the bride meets her bridegroom. 

We are going to see the King!

For You Today

One of the things I’m greatly anticipating is the moment when I realize all my strength-draining introversion has faded; my new body, mind, soul…my whole being will crave being with all of God’s Forever Family without worrying about measuring up, lasting through, or recovering from any of it. 

Best of all, I won’t want THAT banquet to end…and it won’t!

What a day…glorious day…that will be!

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day!  

[1] Title image: Pixabay.com   Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation^©    

When GOOD Becomes Enemy of BEST

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Monday, June 17, 2019

Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.  Always be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.  Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.  For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.  Ephesians 4:1-4

Every time I convince myself I’m done with it, that I’m not going to think about it, write about it, or care about it ever-again, the Apostle Paul gets in my way.  He’s like that, constantly reminding us about love.  And to use the word “love” there’s no sense of smarmy, warm and fuzzy emotionalism in the mix.  The Apostle’s “love” (of which Paul is not the originator, but merely the messenger) is that singularly God-like selfless love, agape’.[2]  In this is no room for emotion-driven, touchy-feely I’m OK-You’re OK drivel.  This kind of love is much more difficult, requires using your brain, and is eminently greater at fixing human relationships.  This love is what Paul was driving at when he challenges believers to live a life worthy of that to which God calls us.  Note the explanation:

Christians who wish to lead a life worthy of the calling to which they have been called, are obliged, in imitation of their Lord, to forbear one another in love, with all lowliness, meekness, and patience (Eph 4:2). That is, they are to exercise calm patience under provocation, avoid resentment and retaliation, be slow to judge and punish, and be ever ready to forgive (Phil 4:5; Col 3:13; 2 Tim 2:24).[3]

Paul got in my way with this, because he calls us to use every power, resource, and possible effort to stay united.  For someone who belongs to the tribe called United Methodist, them’s fightin’ words!  Well, at least it would seem so. 

I hate fighting, or conflict of any kind.  Perhaps I owe it to my hardwired nature to be shy, and introverted.  Perhaps it was my intoverted Mother’s training, or just the prevailing era’s mantra of not saying anything if you had nothing nice to say.  But, whether your profile is that of wall-flowering recluse, or highly-active drama queen, mixing it up in the latest bruhaha, you’re not even near baby understanding of God’s agape’ if you are just willing to sit and fume, or, worse, strike-back like a counter-punching president.  That is not anywhere in the same universe with forbearing or making every effort to keep united in the Spirit.

I fear for my tribe that we are descending into the hell of plotting, intrigue, and manipulation of institutional-infighting which is anything but forbearing one another, remaining humble and gentle; this has no chance at all at ending what has been a dividing war for decades.  And it’s the exclusive fault of neither one side nor the other…rather it is pure evil that drives separation of people who are called to the worthy (albeit quite difficult) task of being bound-together in selfless living, so the world may truly see God.

Admittedly there is “good” on both “sides” of the (not-nearly united) Methodist holy war.  Both want to be connected to God and serve Him.  Both want to be a blessing, not a curse.  Both sides want to grow in love and usefulness in the Kingdom.  But when that good intention becomes tainted with human need to control, own and manipulate in order to accomplish keeping their side of the elephant as holy, while disposing of the rest of the beast…well, let’s just say we have allowed the good to become enemy of the best!

For You Today

If you’re stuck in some holy war, and sides are taken, and you’re being pulled in either or both directions….STOP, think, be annoyed by the Apostle Paul’s call to get your stuff together under the tent of God’s kind of love, and choose to forbear, forgive, and bring together; that is the best that will cooperate with the Spirit to drive the combatants to examine their so-called good.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day.

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[1] Title Image: Pixabay.com     Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from The New Living Translation©

[2] In Greek, ἐν ἀγάπῃ

[3] Encyclopedia of the Bible

When a Lame Man Walks

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Thursday, February 28, 2019

They all rushed out in amazement to Solomon’s Colonnade, where the man was holding tightly to Peter and John.  Peter saw his opportunity and addressed the crowd.  “People of Israel,” he said, “what is so surprising about this?  And why stare at us as though we had made this man walk by our own power or godliness?  For it is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob—the God of all our ancestors—who has brought glory to his servant Jesus by doing this.   This is the same Jesus whom you handed over and rejected before Pilate, despite Pilate’s decision to release him.  You rejected this holy, righteous one and instead demanded the release of a murderer.  You killed the author of life, but God raised him from the dead. And we are witnesses of this fact!  “Through faith in the name of Jesus, this man was healed—and you know how crippled he was before.  Faith in Jesus’ name has healed him before your very eyes.  Acts 3:11-16(NLT)

It’s hard to admit, but I often get blindsided by miracles.  The culture of the 60’s and 70’s, my young adult years, questioned miracles and protested everything.  It’s not enough that I’m an introvert by nature, the prevailing unrest of American life in the mid-20^th century, an outgrowth of Vietnam and the sexual revolution, climatized me to keep my mouth shut, for fear of being lumped-in with lunatics and the religiously-deceived.  I became a poster-boy for the old saying: 

It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

The major problem with this philosophy, however, is the need to speak truth.  When you don’t speak, the truth goes impotent in you…and you get used to it!

Peter, the impetuous disciple, was anything but an introverted shrinking violet when it came to speaking-up.  Well, except for that time outside Pilate’s house just before the rooster announced the dawn of Peter’s shame for NOT speaking truth.  But, when the Apostle finally found his voice again, God used it for witness all over the Kingdom.

Over the course of my life I watched (introverts do that best…watch…from a safe distance) the rise of the Silent Majority, dubbed-so by hyper-conservative Reverend Jerry Falwell.  He was quite right on so many issues, and the silent ones followed, supported, and watched, as the left-leaning opposition pummeled him as obtuse and a hate-monger.  Jerry’s long-gone now, but his tribe still is a majority, albeit a fading voice in the culture of America’s comfort with untruth.

So, what do you do when a “simple” miracle happens right in front of you?  What if a lifelong-invalid gets out of the wheelchair and begins running 100-yard sprints around the mob of untruth?  Do you just watch in awe, questioning how in the world that happened; wondering if it’s a trick, or if he was pretending his illness before?  I can tell you from personal and very painfully-regretted experience, for a disciple, keeping silent when God uses a megaphone to get his point across is not the answer; sometimes you’ve just GOT to speak up and praise His name!

I’m less-silent now than in my early years.  At times learning to speak-out has been more than a little uncomfortable…but my discomfort hardly compares to what my Lord Jesus Christ endured when he took my sin to the cross. 

For You Today

The very least a disciple can do is speak-out the truth when it’s right in front of us.  Be on the lookout today for that lame man; God may be up to something that will open your eyes…and your mouth!

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day.

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[i] Title Image:   via Pixabay.com

Anxious Moments

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Wednesday, July 11, 2018

“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.”  Psalm 46:10^(NLT)

Yesterday’s devotion on patience revealed how “anxious” a control-freak pastor can get when stuff happens to turn a worship service on its ear.  I’d like to revisit that today for a few moments to pull back the flap of an introvert’s quiet, control-loving insides.

That thing the Psalmist wrote about being still is something that comes naturally to me.  Introverts prefer – uh, change that to love, crave, and would sometimes actually consider killing for – quiet!  Well, not really, but you get the picture.  My traditional response to seeing high-energy interactive opportunities is to grab a book and head for the nearest quiet corner!

The difference between “type-A” and “type-B” (extroverted vs. introverted) personality types is well-documented.  The A-types crave interaction and being with as many others as can fill a noisy room.  Type-B’s prefer one-on-one, and a much quieter experience. 

Some research about pastors indicates there are many more introverted pastors than the other.  Strange, isn’t it?  You know that old saying about the pickup line in a bar:  What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?  It applies here:  Hey, pastor, what’s an introverted book worm like you doing leading a frenzied mess we call church?

Now that may say two things:  the first is that you don’t choose ministry; it captures you when God taps you on the shoulder and says:  Saddle-up, bucko…it’s time to ride.  The other thing has to do with God’s sense of humor; only God would choose a quiet-loving person to be a pastor, where he has to stand in front of a crowd, and stand-up even in the awkward moments to push for the right thing to be done.  You gotta love God’s sense of humor!

Now, it’s not that introverts can’t function in a crowd; we just prefer the quieter ways.  But when we do find ourselves in the fast lane, we will hunt the quickest exit ramp.  That’s because socializing really takes the energy out of an introvert’s batteries.  After the ball is over it takes a lot longer to recharge our batteries than the average extrovert.

So, what does that mean to the introverted pastor who wants to obey God’s call to share the Good News, but still maintain sanity, relevance, and transparent integrity?  In short, how can I still be who I really am, if I must continually work against the natural tendencies I was born with?  I’m quiet by nature, but I must speak up.  I’m shy in social situations, but I’m called to engage anyway.  I prefer thinking, but am expected to talk.

Well, it IS a problem, but, before we gavel the Russell pity-party to order here, let’s take a look around.  What other kinds of “natural” tendencies do we see that God seems to want us to “overcome” in favor of something opposite? 

·      What about tempers popping-off at the slightest offense? 

·      How about gluttonous appetites going back for a fourth time at the buffet line at the annual homecoming dinner on the grounds? 

·      What about the anger that crushes a spouse’s hopes and dreams, or even her eye socket and collarbone? 

·      What about the tendency to give up on people or even church? 

·      What about the child learning to go through life as if everyone else is unimportant…only to be screamed at if you don’t get the toy you wanted? 

·      What about striking-back when the world has done you dirty?

·      And, lest we forget the current ruckus in which the United Methodist Church is embroiled – sexuality issues.  What about our tendencies to do, (and be) what we want – the way we were made…work out all that animal lust our way, and not God’s way?

In the same way this introvert, flawed, sometimes petulantly quiet and moody, needs to get a life, put on a smile, shake a hand, and give a hug to someone who needs it, all of us need to keep our natural tendencies under the influence of self-discipline. 

God calls all of us to that!

For You Today

Paul told the Ephesian church this about their natural tendencies that made them selfish and less than Kingdom stars for Jesus:

We are to grow up and be more like Christ. He is the leader of the church.  

Ephesians 4:15b^(NLV)

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day. 

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[1] Title Image:  Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Together

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Monday, May 14, 2018

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.  Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now.  And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.  So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart.  You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News.  God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.  I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding.  For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.  May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation—the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ—for this will bring much glory and praise to God.  Philippians 1:3-11^(NLT)

From the tone of Paul’s letter to the Philippian church you woudn’t quickly guess he wasn’t always the easiest guy in the world to get along with; it reads like a love-fest.  Yet it was always this way.  Peter and Paul had a few run-ins.  Paul disagreed sharply with Barnabas, his most loyal supporter and travelling companion, over whether or not young John Mark should get a second chance after wimping-out on a previous missionary trip.  It seems Paul was stubborn, single-minded in focus, incredibly difficult to understand, and something of a loner when it came to making decisions.  I’ve been thinking I’ve got to get with Ancestry.com to have my DNA checked; I MUST be related to him!  Paul even preached such long sermons that people fell asleep!

And yet, when Paul writes to the Philippian church it is a love-letter, with the Apostle proclaiming his unquestionable love and devotion for them.  He prays constantly for their growth in Christ, longs to see them, declares how important their partnership in the ministry is to him, and announces how much their fruitfulness in the kingdom blesses and pleases God.  Paul goes so far as to tell the Philippians they have a special place in his heart; sounds like an introvert longing to set his extroverted inner-self free!

The only conclusion I can come to about Paul is that he was as introverted as I am.  He needs time away from everything so he can process things in his mind; he needs to think quietly and understand just how important others are in his life.  He doesn’t always do well in the here and now, but when he has time to process and put it all in perspective, the whole concept of family, team, and cooperation being absolutely critical in God’s plans becomes vividly clear to him.  Hence the letter to these beloved partners; what God has made clear to Paul in private, he must now share with his fellow-laborers.

This is a good lesson for both sides of this equation.  Whether you are a hands-on/wear-your-feelings-on-your-shirtsleeve extrovert…or a quiet/contemplative/not-easy-to-know introvert – whatever your personality type, if relationship comes naturally like breathing in-and-out, or you have to work at it to the point of exhaustion – the whole issue of community, being together, is a Kingdom necessity and reality.  This is what God has designed, and the loner must realize how much he needs others like he needs air.

For You Today

Note to my introverted self:  remember to let those who serve with you know how important they are, and how much you pray for them, and how much you really love them.

Another note to my hidden (deep-down, thank you) extroverted self:  when you make those attempts in the moment to say stuff before you’ve thought it through, take some time alone to process…make sure you’re following the Spirit’s leading, and not just crashing through someone else’s china shop like a crazed bull.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day. 

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[1] Title Image:  Courtesy Pixabay.com 

It Was Bound to Happen

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Friday, December 30, 2016

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them.  People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  1 Samuel 16:7b^(NLT)

One of the problems with you reading (or listening to) this devotional is that you’ve got to deal with my personal insecurities or crusade issues.  I write these pages at 5:00 in the morning as a response to what God’s Word speaks to me, after reading the day’s lectionary Scriptures.  Often that response hauls out a memory or leftover unresolved issue from my childhood. 

Sorry…I don’t plan it that way…but, for today:

You know that moment in school when you raised your hand with all the other kids because the teacher asked a question…and you didn’t want to appear stupid…so you stuck your paw up in the air…and in the split second it takes for your life to unravel, she calls on you, even though when your eyes made contact you were in the middle of pulling your hand down, because…you haven’t got a clue what the question meant, much less what the answer might be?

It was bound to happen – especially to me.  Because I was that kid who often didn’t raise my hand at all.  I followed the wise sage advice that it is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!

But one time I really thought I had the answer.  It was in 5^th grade, and we were in morning assembly – pledge allegiance, Lord’s Prayer, moment of silence, then singing the National Anthem…every day…every word. 

But that day was different.  We had a visiting famous person who played the piano and sang.  I can’t recall her name, but her name isn’t my childhood unresolved issue.  She played and sang a song, then asked if anyone knew who wrote the song.  I stuck that paw up in the middle of a sea of 4^th-5^th and 6^th graders – I think I surprised even me by doing that – but I knew the answer was right; it had to be Nat King Cole.  The singer-famous lady nodded in my direction; I blurted out Nat King COLE!!  And the whole assembly burst into laughter and rolled eyes; they had heard what I didn’t; the famous lady had asked if anyone knew what famous FEMALE author had written the song.  Nobody even knew what a gender reorientation surgery was back then, so there was no chance Mr. Cole had become a female singer/songwriter!  I sat down quickly in a pit of despair, wishing it were a bottomless-pit that would swallow me whole!  It was the longest day of my 11 year old life.

I didn’t raise my hand again in a crowd until graduate school 22 years later. 

It seems rather strange that a kid with that kind of introvert issues would eventually wind up talking in front of people, leading meetings and giving advice.  There had to be something less-painful to do with your life for someone who prefers the corner of the room…maybe be a forrest ranger deep in the Amazon.

Actually it only seems strange if you look at people like people look at people.  When you do that you judge what you do not know.  But when God looks at someone, He sees all the way past the introverted insecurity, and the rolled eyes of his classmates; God sees all the way into the heart and soul, and says:  I need that critter to go speak for me over the next 40 years to several congregations in a few Southern states. 

The fact is, even this critter doesn’t understand himself as well as God understands me.  But when He called, even though I wanted to run like Jonah, sulk like Elijah, equivocate like Peter, whine like Samuel, excuse myself like Moses…I listened…and have tried to be obedient. 

And sometimes what God has done with the kid who hated to be noticed by anyone, talk in front of anyone, be singled-out by any means…well it’s more surprising than Nat King Cole singing in a female falsetto voice.

For You Today

Have you got anything that God wants, but causes you to run for the pit?

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road…have a blessed day!

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NOTES

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[i] Title image: By Oregon Department of Transportation (Showing hands  Uploaded by Smallman12q), via Wikimedia Commons