Communicating...Sorta

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Disclaimer:  Gentlemen…Mother’s Day is at hand….there…you’re warned!

But there is one thing I want you to know:  The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.  1 Corinthians 11:3

It is my belief that men really do want to communicate; contrary to the stereotypes that you see, where the husband has the newspaper up over his face at the kitchen table.  Everything the wife says to him, he grunts a response.  Men aren't that way deep down.  This is a stereotype produced by ignorance.  But, sometimes it shows up in our character, and then in the funny papers.  Leroy and Loretta Lockhorn are walking down the street, and he says to her:  Let's go some place noisy where we can't hear each other.  I don't believe men are really like that; I believe men want to communicate.  Men realize the importance of communication.  The tricky part is doing it! 

Communication is not an exact science.  Women communicate differently than men.  The Bible says we must speak the truth in love.  I believe that to be a bit of Apostle Paul’s advice that applies to both male and female.  By that I mean men and women both believe it; they just practice it differently.  The men relate to the part that says speak the truth.  The women concentrate on in love.  Men are interested in logic, the right brain problem solving mechanism.  Women, however, don't just want truth and problems solved; it must be in a loving way.  Women want to talk about things.  When I arrive home from a day at the office, if my wife has a problem, she wants to discuss it.  There is something therapeutic for her in sharing.  I am a problem-solving machine.  She states the problem, I immediately have a six-point program, complete with intermediate reporting steps and accountability factors to fix that puppy!  And I think I'm doing real well...man I'm communicating!  After dutifully listening for several minutes, my wife loses interest and busies herself in making dinner.  I wonder what in the world I did to make her mad.  Lack of communication. 

We were talking about the same event, but I was bulldozing it out of existence, while she wanted to squeeze every last drop of meaning from the depths of all relationships involved.

In Brewer, Maine, the police got a phone call one time about a woman who was very disturbed.  She was talking to a lady friend of hers on the phone.  After a while the phone just went quiet and all she could hear was gasping breaths in the distance.  She couldn't get her friend to respond.  The police sent a patrol car.  The cop knocked on the door, but could get no response.  She went around to the side and looked in the kitchen window.  There was the woman, spread-eagle on the floor, with the phone next to her.  She thought:  Oh my gosh, she's had a heart attack and died right there!  She was going to break in the door, but knocked just in case there was another family member in the house somewhere.  When the door opened, it was the woman who was laying in the kitchen.  She explained, I'm so sorry.  I guess we were talking too long on the phone.  I laid down on the floor to rest a moment and fell asleep while Hattie was talkin' to me.  (As a preacher I can relate!)

For You Today 

Men need to practice communicating, not dictating orders, solving everybody's problems, being the general in the house.  If a man desires to be called head of the house he will take the time to learn how to communicate with his wife.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day!

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There are about 2,500 devotional posts and 400 sermons in the Rocky Road Devotions library.  To dig deeper explore some of these:   No Cannoli  and  A Misunderstanding   

Title Image:  via Pixabay.com   Images without citation are in public domain.

Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation^©   

Multiplication by Division

Thursday, May 19, 2022

After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.”  Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark.  But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work.  Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus.  Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care.  Then he traveled throughout Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches there.  

Acts 15:36-41

There are rules which govern mathematics.  For instance, for an equation to be valid, or true, both values on either side of the “equal sign” must be equal.

1 + 1 = 2

No matter how many times you do this problem, adding two ones will always equal two!  Because of this rule (and others too numerous and increasingly complicated – much too complicated for my brain) division and multiplication are inextricably related.  To do one is to mirror the other.  An example:

2 x 2 = 4   mirrors  4 ÷ 2 = 2

What does this have to do with the Kingdom of God here on earth?  Everything.  In the case of Paul and Barnabas, God divided their opinion about Mark in order to multiply their missionary impact.

It is a common understanding that an argument in church is counter-Christian in nature.  However, that is a far cry from a matter of differing opinion about which way to do something.  The rules governing truth require us to recognize that two contradictory opinions cannot both be right.  Therfore, there only three possible outcomes, relative to truth:

          1.  Party A is right, Party B is wrong

          2.  Party A is wrong, Party B is right

          3.  Party A and B are both wrong.

It is never a matter of victor over loser in God’s Kingdom, but humility to understand God does math more perfectly than human wisdom.  Sometimes He uses the division of thought between believers to create multiplication of His plans for spreading the love He has for us.  It was this way with Paul and Barnabas’ dispute over the usefulness of John Mark on the next road trip.  Instead of one missionary team of three (Paul, Barnabas & John Mark), God had two missionary teams of two each, adding the usefulness of Silas to the mix.

I cannot recall how many times I’ve been asked the question about why so many different denominations and doctrines, preacher?  My stock answer has become:  Sisters and Brothers…it’s God-math!

For You Today

In my journey, God took a rebellious teen, who was raised in a northern Congregational church, and later joined a Methodist tribe, moved to a non-denominational fellowship, then moved to the South (Florida) and joined a Southern Baptist church, studied in a Southern Baptist seminary, to pastor Southern Baptist churches, only to wind-up in the United Methodist tribe. 

Now, if you can use a calculator and press the right buttons to figure out what God was accomplishing, you’re on a higher pay grade than I.  But remember, just like God’s Word never returns to him void of the accomplishment He plans[1], so it is with what He does with our days and movements.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road with Jesus; have a blessed day!  

[1] Title image: Pixabay.com   Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation^©  

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[1] Isaiah 55:11

When GOOD Becomes Enemy of BEST

[1]

Monday, June 17, 2019

Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.  Always be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.  Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.  For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.  Ephesians 4:1-4

Every time I convince myself I’m done with it, that I’m not going to think about it, write about it, or care about it ever-again, the Apostle Paul gets in my way.  He’s like that, constantly reminding us about love.  And to use the word “love” there’s no sense of smarmy, warm and fuzzy emotionalism in the mix.  The Apostle’s “love” (of which Paul is not the originator, but merely the messenger) is that singularly God-like selfless love, agape’.[2]  In this is no room for emotion-driven, touchy-feely I’m OK-You’re OK drivel.  This kind of love is much more difficult, requires using your brain, and is eminently greater at fixing human relationships.  This love is what Paul was driving at when he challenges believers to live a life worthy of that to which God calls us.  Note the explanation:

Christians who wish to lead a life worthy of the calling to which they have been called, are obliged, in imitation of their Lord, to forbear one another in love, with all lowliness, meekness, and patience (Eph 4:2). That is, they are to exercise calm patience under provocation, avoid resentment and retaliation, be slow to judge and punish, and be ever ready to forgive (Phil 4:5; Col 3:13; 2 Tim 2:24).[3]

Paul got in my way with this, because he calls us to use every power, resource, and possible effort to stay united.  For someone who belongs to the tribe called United Methodist, them’s fightin’ words!  Well, at least it would seem so. 

I hate fighting, or conflict of any kind.  Perhaps I owe it to my hardwired nature to be shy, and introverted.  Perhaps it was my intoverted Mother’s training, or just the prevailing era’s mantra of not saying anything if you had nothing nice to say.  But, whether your profile is that of wall-flowering recluse, or highly-active drama queen, mixing it up in the latest bruhaha, you’re not even near baby understanding of God’s agape’ if you are just willing to sit and fume, or, worse, strike-back like a counter-punching president.  That is not anywhere in the same universe with forbearing or making every effort to keep united in the Spirit.

I fear for my tribe that we are descending into the hell of plotting, intrigue, and manipulation of institutional-infighting which is anything but forbearing one another, remaining humble and gentle; this has no chance at all at ending what has been a dividing war for decades.  And it’s the exclusive fault of neither one side nor the other…rather it is pure evil that drives separation of people who are called to the worthy (albeit quite difficult) task of being bound-together in selfless living, so the world may truly see God.

Admittedly there is “good” on both “sides” of the (not-nearly united) Methodist holy war.  Both want to be connected to God and serve Him.  Both want to be a blessing, not a curse.  Both sides want to grow in love and usefulness in the Kingdom.  But when that good intention becomes tainted with human need to control, own and manipulate in order to accomplish keeping their side of the elephant as holy, while disposing of the rest of the beast…well, let’s just say we have allowed the good to become enemy of the best!

For You Today

If you’re stuck in some holy war, and sides are taken, and you’re being pulled in either or both directions….STOP, think, be annoyed by the Apostle Paul’s call to get your stuff together under the tent of God’s kind of love, and choose to forbear, forgive, and bring together; that is the best that will cooperate with the Spirit to drive the combatants to examine their so-called good.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day.

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[1] Title Image: Pixabay.com     Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from The New Living Translation©

[2] In Greek, ἐν ἀγάπῃ

[3] Encyclopedia of the Bible

Cleaning Up the Mess

[i]

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

One day Jesus said to his disciples, “There will always be temptations to sin, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting!  It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin.  So watch yourselves!  “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive.  Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”  Luke 17:1-4(NLT)

General Conference 2019 is in the books, and now comes the clean-up.  It’s not just sweeping-up debris left in St. Louis’ Dome Conference Center, but the debris of tempers that flared, hearts that broke, spirits that are crushed, and lives that must be lived.  No matter which side you may have been rooting-for, or if you were just observing, shaking your head at it all, votes were cast, one side declared in the majority, and the division in the United Methodist Church will continue.

As does the struggle between darkness and light…everywhere!

Jesus reminded us that temptation to sin is endless…and those who promote such with their words, attitudes, and actions will suffer judgment at the hand of God.  For those who “won” in St. Louis, this is no time to gloat.  Gloating is rubbing salt in the wounds of a rebuked person, and, frankly, losing a contentious battle with 13 million worldwide participants, before a world population watching Christians duke it out in the Dome…well, that’s enough salt for one day.  In fact, it’s enough salt for a lifetime.  It is now time to lay down the banners and placards; the process is over, and readiness to forgive is all that should be on the table.  Jesus said we must be ready to forgive endlessly; 70 x 7 is a really big number!

Just one thing about the winning side – there is no winner when Christians brawl.  It makes little difference who the aggressor was, who carried the day’s vote, or whether the decision made was right, wrong, or inconsequential; the most consequential piece of fallout is that denominational squabbles are not played-out in a vacuum; the world has seen people who purport to be disciples of the Prince of Peace acting like World War II was just a minor disagreement.

I have heard sociologists and psychologists hold that it takes roughly 10 positive words to overcome one negative word.  If that is true, and I strongly suspect it is, the four days of this General Conference will put off any kind of sweeping revival for the cause of Christ by at least two centuries and another dark age.  In the end, I’m certain there is rejoicing in the pit of Hell.

And, with those words still ringing, annoying to the bone, I will quit talking about General Conference, and the Methodist bruhaha.  It’s time to get on to something important.

For You Today

Let’s let Scripture speak a word of healing for today:

Be still in the presence of the Lord,
    and wait patiently for him to act.
Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
    or fret about their wicked schemes.

Stop being angry!
    Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—
    it only leads to harm.
For the wicked will be destroyed,
    but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.  Psalm 37:7-9(NLT)

This is how to clean up after the storm…even if you helped make it!

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day.

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[i] Title Image:   via The United Methodist Church website

More Harm Than Good

[i]

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

But in the following instructions, I cannot praise you.  For it sounds as if more harm than good is done when you meet together.  First, I hear that there are divisions among you when you meet as a church, and to some extent I believe it.  But, of course, there must be divisions among you so that you who have God’s approval will be recognized!  When you meet together, you are not really interested in the Lord’s Supper.  For some of you hurry to eat your own meal without sharing with others.  As a result, some go hungry while others get drunk.  What?  Don’t you have your own homes for eating and drinking?  Or do you really want to disgrace God’s church and shame the poor?  What am I supposed to say?  Do you want me to praise you?  Well, I certainly will not praise you for this!  1 Corinthians 11:17-22 ^(NLT)

Disclaimer

For those of you who are not United Methodist, please forgive me for airing the laundry; this is a watershed time for the children of Wesley, and these morning devotionals are filled with prayer for my tribe.  We will likely return to a more general approach after the final vote on Tuesday.

This title (More Harm Than Good) is an unlikely one for a denomination that has its root in the sweeping Methodist revival across America in the 18-19^th century, which leader, John Wesley, is quoted as saying we must:

Do all the good you can, 
By all the means you can, 
In all the ways you can,

In all the places you can, 

At all the times you can, 

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can.

But as my tribe meets in St. Louis to decide if we can live together any more, I’m wondering how much damage the fracas will total when all is said and done.

For the past 50 years (ever since the 1968 merger of Methodist and Evangelical United Brethren to form the United Methodist Church) this denomination has been always at the forefront in social justice issues.  The current embroilment is human sexuality, mainly whether the long-standing doctrinal posture that …homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching will stand, or if we must change to allow full-inclusiveness for LGBTQ persons, particularly in ordination, i.e., clergy orders.

Admittedly, I have no simple solution, nor do I think there is anything approaching a simple solution to the dilemma that confronts the United Methodist Church.  But there are two concerns that mitigate against a Hallmark Movie ending to this debate under any circumstances:

Unity

Anytime you have two or more groups which hold a significantly-different opinion (i.e. doctrine) about an issue, you have an impasse; that is to say, a brick wall.  Take, for instance, a marriage where the husband is in favor of monogamy, and the wife favors an open marriage, where she is free to date (and sleep with) other men.  Unless one changes his/her mind, there will always be contention and unhappiness, or that which ends the so-called unity, namely divorce.  There are no other possibilities. 

Conscience

In this case, the progressive side of the (so-called) “United” Methodist Church is asking the traditionalist side to affirm that their doctrine of homosexuality, trans-sexuality, bi-sexuality, cis-gender, and anything-goes-uality, regarding gender and orientation is just as valid as heterosexuality.

Regardless of millennia of ecclesiastic thought, debate and accepted Scriptural understanding, stated, written, and practiced, progressives want traditionalists to now change their minds and accept/practice/live with what is heretofore deemed sexual perversion. 

I have no simple answers, but this much is not in question – how can any group ask the other group to violate moral conscience, and still call oneself a Christian?

For You Today

Please join me in praying for my tribe’s delegates, for clarity of the Mind of Christ, as they vote later today…lest we do more harm than good to the Body of Christ.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day.

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[i] Title Image:   via The United Methodist Church website

The Voice of God

[1]

Friday, May 25, 2018

Honor the Lord, you heavenly beings; honor the Lord for his glory and strength.  Honor the Lord for the glory of his name.  Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.  The voice of the Lord echoes above the sea.  The God of glory thunders.  The Lord thunders over the mighty sea.  The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is majestic.  The voice of the Lord splits the mighty cedars; the Lord shatters the cedars of Lebanon.  He makes Lebanon’s mountains skip like a calf; he makes Mount Hermon leap like a young wild ox.  The voice of the Lord strikes with bolts of lightning.  The voice of the Lord makes the barren wilderness quake; the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.  The voice of the Lord twists mighty oaks and strips the forests bare.  In his Temple everyone shouts, “Glory!”  The Lord rules over the floodwaters.  The Lord reigns as king forever.  The Lord gives his people strength.  The Lord blesses them with peace.  Psalm 29:1-11^NLT)

The Psalmist describes the voice of God as mighty and cataclysmic – something not to be denied or ignored.  His voice echoes above the sea, splits gigantic cedars, shakes the mountains as if they’re dancing in reply, sends lightning flashes, and stirs quakes in the quiet wilderness, making everything shout-out the glory of God.

After all that imagery the poet peels back the façade of storms and natural disaster to reveal the majestic Lord reigning as king forever, the One who gives his people strength and…peace!

Peace?  How does peace enter into all that earth-shaking and shattering?  Where is the peace in all the clammor of today’s constant arguing, partying, and killing?  Peace?

I cannot imagine anyone not wanting to live at peace, and in peace.  Of course this assumes people who are mentally healthy.  Anger, conflict, confrontation, and a general sense of in-your-face attitude are so alien to what my soul craves, it makes me cringe just to think about all that.  I don’t want to be around people who are at war, literally, or merely in their own minds; they spill-out bile and vengeance into their relationships.  There is little sense of peace or well-being there, or even just considering that picture.

I heard it said once that there are two types of people who are on the positive side of peace; there are peace-lovers, and there are peace-makers.  For me that’s too simple. 

Here’s what I mean:  Loving peace and making peace are as night and day different as passive and active.  Loving peace only requires an attitude – a desire to not have a fight going on.  Making peace sometimes (even often) requires the willingness to have a fight in order to end the fight.  Again, that’s too simple.

The complexity that enters this picture is when people who really aren’t in a healthy place enter the equation (people who are not sound of mind).  These are terrorist-seeds looking for a place to root.  Their literature claims peace as the motive for their “holy war” but goes no farther than throwing-off the blame for their warring ways on the higher power.  There is really not a desire for peace; there is only a lust for aggression.

So, how can you tell the difference between a really strong soldier whose target is peace, and a really strong terrorist who only craves the frenzy of war?  There are lots of variables in the answer to that question, such as the peace-making soldier who loses sight of peace being his target.  But my insides tell me the one true test is whether or not one is willing to trust.  Trust is the ability to lay-down the weapons and engage with words.  That is a first step in moving towards peace; without that first step, there is no chance to go anywhere but to the grave.

And isn’t that the crunch?  War and graves go hand in hand; only those who trust, people who are willing to lay down their anger, war and hurt are candidates for peace.  You need a quiet moment to hear the voice of the Lord.

For You Today

True peace lovers are also peace makers; and the other way around too.

Are there any weapons in your arsenal that need laying-down?

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day. 

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[1] Title Image:  Courtesy Pixabay.com