Communicating...Sorta

Tuesday, May 9, 2023

Disclaimer:  Gentlemen…Mother’s Day is at hand….there…you’re warned!

But there is one thing I want you to know:  The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.  1 Corinthians 11:3

It is my belief that men really do want to communicate; contrary to the stereotypes that you see, where the husband has the newspaper up over his face at the kitchen table.  Everything the wife says to him, he grunts a response.  Men aren't that way deep down.  This is a stereotype produced by ignorance.  But, sometimes it shows up in our character, and then in the funny papers.  Leroy and Loretta Lockhorn are walking down the street, and he says to her:  Let's go some place noisy where we can't hear each other.  I don't believe men are really like that; I believe men want to communicate.  Men realize the importance of communication.  The tricky part is doing it! 

Communication is not an exact science.  Women communicate differently than men.  The Bible says we must speak the truth in love.  I believe that to be a bit of Apostle Paul’s advice that applies to both male and female.  By that I mean men and women both believe it; they just practice it differently.  The men relate to the part that says speak the truth.  The women concentrate on in love.  Men are interested in logic, the right brain problem solving mechanism.  Women, however, don't just want truth and problems solved; it must be in a loving way.  Women want to talk about things.  When I arrive home from a day at the office, if my wife has a problem, she wants to discuss it.  There is something therapeutic for her in sharing.  I am a problem-solving machine.  She states the problem, I immediately have a six-point program, complete with intermediate reporting steps and accountability factors to fix that puppy!  And I think I'm doing real well...man I'm communicating!  After dutifully listening for several minutes, my wife loses interest and busies herself in making dinner.  I wonder what in the world I did to make her mad.  Lack of communication. 

We were talking about the same event, but I was bulldozing it out of existence, while she wanted to squeeze every last drop of meaning from the depths of all relationships involved.

In Brewer, Maine, the police got a phone call one time about a woman who was very disturbed.  She was talking to a lady friend of hers on the phone.  After a while the phone just went quiet and all she could hear was gasping breaths in the distance.  She couldn't get her friend to respond.  The police sent a patrol car.  The cop knocked on the door, but could get no response.  She went around to the side and looked in the kitchen window.  There was the woman, spread-eagle on the floor, with the phone next to her.  She thought:  Oh my gosh, she's had a heart attack and died right there!  She was going to break in the door, but knocked just in case there was another family member in the house somewhere.  When the door opened, it was the woman who was laying in the kitchen.  She explained, I'm so sorry.  I guess we were talking too long on the phone.  I laid down on the floor to rest a moment and fell asleep while Hattie was talkin' to me.  (As a preacher I can relate!)

For You Today 

Men need to practice communicating, not dictating orders, solving everybody's problems, being the general in the house.  If a man desires to be called head of the house he will take the time to learn how to communicate with his wife.

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day!

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There are about 2,500 devotional posts and 400 sermons in the Rocky Road Devotions library.  To dig deeper explore some of these:   No Cannoli  and  A Misunderstanding   

Title Image:  via Pixabay.com   Images without citation are in public domain.

Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation^©   

God's Ultimate YES

 

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

Since I was so sure of your understanding and trust, I wanted to give you a double blessing by visiting you twice—first on my way to Macedonia and again when I returned from Macedonia.  Then you could send me on my way to Judea.  You may be asking why I changed my plan.  Do you think I make my plans carelessly?  Do you think I am like people of the world who say “Yes” when they really mean “No”?  As surely as God is faithful, our word to you does not waver between “Yes” and “No.”  For Jesus Christ, the Son of God, does not waver between “Yes” and “No.”  He is the one whom Silas, Timothy, and I preached to you, and as God’s ultimate “Yes,” he always does what he says.                         2 Corinthians 2:15-19

It doesn’t take long for a misunderstanding to change the way you say things, or the way you do things.  The higher the stakes the more careful one must be in communicating with people; especially people with whom you share a mission, or goal.  The mission can become “toast” in a hurry when hurt feelings get in the way.

The apostle, Paul, was committed to the young church at Corinth.  They’d been idol worshippers, and hedonistic, simply party-people with no sense of direction.  Paul founded a church there, and God’s Holy Spirit blessed them with a great outpouring of love and giftedness.  Paul was proud of them.  However, in Paul’s absence, they reverted to some of their pagan ways.  They were in danger of becoming a stain on Jesus’ name, the One they’d committed to serve.

In Paul’s first letter to them he named names and the sins that were threatening to blow that church apart.  This second letter was more than just damage control, he was putting cement around the foundation of their relationship, assuring them that his actions, words, and intentions were always going to be unwavering, uncalculating, and from the heart.  That’s good advice for any pastor and people…get it straight, with humility, and trust.

To put an exclamation point at the end of his letter, Paul points to the One Whom God gave as the ultimate YES, Jesus.  That was not a bad simile for speaking plainly, forcefully, and with little chance of obscuring the target.  Certainly the clear message of Christ’s gift of his life on the cross was unmistakeable; that was God’s communication of love for all humanity.

For You Today

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.  We get caught up in gifts of chocolate, special gifts from the jewelry shops, and the Hallmark moments.  All of the well-intentioned communication of joy and devotion to our “loved ones” is good and right.  But, in all of your celebrating, remember Who started it all!  It was the Lord Jesus Christ who gave us the meaning for Valentine’s Day:

“For this is how God loved the world:  He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day!  

[1] Title:  Pixabay.com    Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation^©    

A Misunderstanding

 

Friday, March 19, 2021

Give me an understanding heart so that I can govern your people well and know the difference between right and wrong.  For who by himself is able to govern this great people of yours?”  1 Kings 3:9

God had promised Solomon a request.  The newly ascended king prayed for an understanding heart so he could govern in a way God would approve, and would be a blessing to the people.  God was pleased.  There is nothing better than power used correctly in Heaven’s eyes.

The difficulties associated with a heart mis-understanding are legion.  My grandmother, a sweet, and normally tender-hearted person, is an example.

My father was introduced to my mother by her brother.  Dad and Uncle Marlen played ball together, and Elwood fell hard when he first saw Cecilia…who, at first, wanted nothing to do with that boy.  (But that’s a story for another time).

Back at the ballfield, Marlen was the pitcher, and Elwood the catcher.  Uncle Marlen’s Mom, Carrie, didn’t attend ball games, except for one time; it was the time signals got mixed and misunderstanding happened.  Here’s how.

In between innings, when teams switch from offense to defense, the pitcher will normally take some practice-throws to warm-up his arm before facing the first batter.  When he makes his last throw, he will step to one side while the catcher throws the ball to second base.  The ball will then be thrown around the infield as something of a ritual.  On that last pitch it was Uncle Marlen’s habit to step to the left side of the pitcher’s mound, and Daddy Elwood, the catcher, would throw the ball to second base slightly to the right.  Pitcher steps left (always); catcher throws right (habit).  Step left, throw right.

One day Grandma Carrie came to watch her son, Marlen, pitch.  At the beginning of an inning Uncle Marlen began his warm-up pitches.  After several tosses he nodded to Daddy Elwood that the next would be the last, and the ritual would begin, pitch…step left…catcher throws right.  Only this time Marlen stepped right, and Elwood, a creature of habit, fired the ball…also right, and right into the middle of my Uncle Marlen’s back.  It is Brownworth family lore that there were two screams that broke the air in that strange moment….Marlen’s scream of surprise pain, and Grandma Carrie’s oath that Elwood must die!

It was probably more than 25 years later I first heard that story (and I’m certain it grew more colorful each time it was retold, both before and since).  But Dad’s punch line to telling that story was always consistent, that Grandma Carrie never really forgave him for assaulting her sweet, innocent baby boy. 

We always laughed about it.  It’s easy to do that in the comfortable seat of time having passed, along with pain long ago healed.  But, in real time, it was something of a discomfort for Elwood, who was at a distinct disadvantage after that fateful baseball day, trying to court Marlen’s older sister, Cecilia.  My brother and I are living proof that he was successful, despite Grandma Carrie’s conspiracy theory that that boy was plotting murder on the family.

A lesson I learned from this little bit of family history is that misunderstandings happen because of many reasons, but often there are two culprits that regularly are present in the mayhem.  The first is poor communication.  In the case of Uncle Marlen and Daddy Elwood, step-left, throw-right was the habit.  The failure in communication was, depending on which side of the family tells the story, the pitcher, or the catcher.  Marlen didn’t tell Elwood he was going to step right.  Elwood assumed it would be left…he just threw where he always threw.  The second culprit is Grandma Carrie’s jumping to conviction.  When the ball game ritual “went ugly”, her immediate judgment was mama lion-like.  Nobody was going to do that to her son! 

For You Today

Politics, family, church things, and friends…hold off on the judgment…someday it might just be you stepping right instead of left

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day!  

[1] Title Image:  Brownworth Family photo    Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation^©