“You must not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14 (NLT)
Sex is one of the most powerful forces in
humankind. It is powerfully good as an
integral component of a healthy relationship between a husband and wife; it is also
one of the greatest problems we have today, when it is abused, outside of the
ways God designed it.
This morning we want to investigate that correct usage
as we look at the fourth of seven deadly sins - lust. God’s design for sexual
activity is that we are to be faithful within marriage, and abstinent outside
of marriage.
Returning from Sunday School one day,
where the Ten Commandments had been the topic, [the] young son asked his
father, Daddy, what does it mean when it
says, Thou shalt not commit agriculture?
There was hardly a beat between the question and [the father’s] smooth
reply: Son, that just means that you’re not supposed to plow the other man’s
field.[2]
The Hebrew word for
adultery is naaph. It originally meant to pollute with admixture, to water-down something pure with an
additive. A marriage is made of two who
become one. Any other mixture in that pot is pollution.
Abstinence means no sexual activity at all. The Bible calls sex between unmarried people fornication. You might say, Pastor, please, this is the 21st century. Well, I do understand what goes on -- and
so does God. He destroyed the world with
a flood when it got out of hand before.
The definition of adultery doesn’t change because a new generation comes
on the scene. When it comes to morality,
God said,
For I am the LORD, I change not.... Malachi 3:6a
Jesus gave us a further word when it comes to this,
But I say, anyone who
even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his
heart. Matthew 5:28
(NLT)
The new morality
aside, the definition is unquestioned.
In marriage, nobody else’s field.
If you’re not married -- every field is off limits!
And when it comes to the definition of adultery – wishing in your mind that you could play in
the field makes you an adulterer!
Why is adultery so bad? After all -- two consenting adults, nobody
else finding out? What’s so bad? One
reason; and (at least) five results,
THE
REASON
Sex is one of the strongest instinctual forms of
behavior known to man. God designed it
that way for the preservation of our race.
For that reason, we can understand how difficult it can be to make sound
decisions while under the spell – that
flush/rush of dizzying euphoria we call love.
Mostly, it is lust.
The wrong of two people engaging
in sex, when they are not under the life-long commitment of marriage, is that
they cannot make sound decisions with sex in
the way!
And it does
get in the way! If it didn’t, the
manufacturers of everything from Calvin Klein underwear to beer wouldn’t spend
zillions on sexually oriented TV spots. Sex/lust
does get our attention!
And when your attention is riveted on the heat of
attraction, you will not be concerned with whether this person will look good
the next morning. You will not be
thinking about which Sunday School class the two of you ought to join. Sex first clouds the water! That’s the reason to abstain!
FIVE
RESULTS OF SEXUAL ADULTERY
The Demise of Personal Integrity.
When a person does not say no in this vital area of life, he will likely never choose to
hold back. In choosing a partner for
marriage you would like to think that after the wedding he or she will stay
faithful.
Cheating
brings paralyzing guilt. It is sin that
is internal – depriving us of holding our head up, knowing we have broken what
should be reserved as a special intimacy for only our lifetime partner.
The Demise of
respect for life.
Adultery and fornication are means of personal
abuse. Years ago in seminary I had to
write a paper on an Old Testament passage.
I chose this text. In reviewing
the paper I came across this part:
This commandment (as the others) is designed to keep
man from destroying himself. In sexual promiscuity
there is a violation of personality because it involves the use of one human
being by another. This destroys the used
and the user.
Human life becomes cheap when
self-gratification is the point.
The Demise of childhood.
Pregnancy among high school students, and even middle
schoolers, is rampant. And with each
passing generation the sexual pressure starts younger.
Babies who raise babies don’t do as good a job as
people who have waited and planned.
Parents ought not to allow their children to date early. Use some common sense! It’s not cute
-- it’s lethal! Kids ought to have a
childhood, not provide one for a baby they’re not equipped to raise.
The Demise of the home.
Half
of all marriages stung by an extra-marital affair end in divorce. The other half stay together -- but don’t
imagine they don’t struggle with the demons in the middle of the night.
The Demise of our nation.
When
the home disappears, so does the strength of the nation. In the Old Testament, David had an adulterous
affair with Bathsheba. It led to a
murderous conspiracy on David’s part.
His ability to be God’s leader was stunted. The shepherd boy, who God called a man after mine own heart, became the
shamed man who cried out in agony over his sin:
Have mercy on me, O God, because of your
unfailing love. Because of your great
compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin.
For I recognize my
rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Psalm
51:1-3 (NLT)
In our day heroes
are falling one by one. Ministers,
leaders, even presidents fall to sexual scandal. A nation cannot stand in immorality. God is not mocked. The disaster of adultery is evident in our
land.
Ignoring God’s way brings His judgment and pain!
What is the “UP” side to sexual
integrity?
Sexual integrity has benefits, and they are summed up
in the positive view of this commandment:
Sexual
integrity (abstinence when not married, fidelity
in marriage, and a thought-life to match) helps build a sense of positive,
uplifting relationship, which provides a firm foundation for all of life’s true
pleasures, as well as a framework of moral stability for society
These few positive benefits are not an exhaustive list
-- they simply underscore the design of God for marriage. They are suggested by the scriptures. Note:
Marriage creates union
For this cause shall a man leave his father and
mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Ephesians 5:31
Marriage creates fulfillment
Then
the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man
to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18 (NLT)
Marriage creates joy
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife
of thy youth. Proverbs 5:18
Marriage creates stability
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man
put asunder. Matthew 19:6b
How can I
keep my life pure?
I know that sexual integrity is the right thing. I know God’s way is best. How can I cooperate with God on this and
succeed in my life? It’s tough out there
today!
START...with a commitment to sexual integrity. To be successful in anything requires
commitment. Faith is included here. If you don’t believe sexual integrity can be
done today, you won’t stand a chance. It
is not easy, but it is possible. God
requires our obedience.
Some of us have decided this – some long ago, with 50
years or more of success. The Word of
God demands a decision on this. You make
the decision in your heart. Ask God to
cleanse your past failures -- or even the failure you’re in right now, if
that’s the case. He said he would forgive
the repentant person,
The sacrifice you desire
is a broken spirit. You will not reject
a broken and repentant heart, O God.
Psalms 51:17 (NLT)
Willingness is always the beginning place with
God. He abhors and resists pride. If you’re serious about sexual integrity,
begin with a contrite and broken spirit…Start!
STRENGTHEN...every advantage you have. Tennyson wrote, Be loyal to the royal within you.
What wonderful advice.
Your inner thought life is
where Satan will trip you up on sexual matters.
If you’re serious about being an overcomer in this area, begin to work
on your thoughts. Read your Bible. Concentrate on good and wholesome
things. Watch what you watch on TV. You can’t expect to watch TV and movies that
depict sexual episodes, and then think your thoughts are going to be of
God. Be careful little eyes what you
see.
STAY
AWAKE...Attachment and attraction
to the opposite sex are as natural as breathing. Sex is a strong drive. Attraction begins with a first glance. Attachment begins with the second look. The Bible says to flee immorality. Stay awake
about those lingering glances and conversations. The key is, Bail out early!
I have a wonderful tie that seems to catch eyes
quickly. I was visiting at a hospital once
and got on the elevator. A woman
commented on the tie. My words came out
before she finished talking, My sweet
wife buys ‘em, an’ I wears ‘em!
If you’re married and meet someone of the opposite sex
– bring your spouse into the conversation before the first 30 seconds are
up! That will liberate you, and let the
other person know where you stand and where the appropriate distance between
you should stand!
Start, strengthen, stay-awake, and…
START
AGAIN...
What if you have done all this and you still blow
it? Start again.
What if you’ve blown it so many times you’ve lost
hope? Start again.
What if you can’t trust yourself anymore? Start again.
Get some help. See your Pastor, a counselor. Get a trusted friend who will help you to
remain accountable.
The place to begin is with contriteness. Start with God. He is in the forgiving business. There is not a sin He won’t forgive except
the rejection of His Son, Jesus. Your
affair wasn’t the unpardonable sin -- He will forgive if you’re honest and lay
it all out before Him in prayer.
They brought a woman to Jesus. She was caught in the very act. She could have been stoned. She hung her head while the self-righteous
folk ridiculed her.
They wanted Jesus to condemn her, or release her and
prove He was a lawbreaker. Jesus showed
them He was in the caring business – He shamed them, and they left one
by one. Then Jesus turned to the
adulterous woman and told her she was free to go! Now she had a new chance – a new start.
Just don’t repeat the same old mistakes.
Jesus gave that woman a second chance to start her
life; he’ll give it to you too!
[2]Reader’s Digest, July 1979, p.87
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