Showing posts with label Gossip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gossip. Show all posts

Monday, January 27, 2020

Cleaning Up Our Act

[1] 
Monday, January 27, 2020

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.  Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.  He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.  Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you.  Such sins have no place among God’s people.  Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you.  Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.  You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God.  For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.  Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him.  Don’t participate in the things these people do.  For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord.  So live as people of light!  For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.  Carefully determine what pleases the Lord.  Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them.  It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret.  But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, for the light makes everything visible.  This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”                           Ephesians 5:1-14

With the struggle of our culture over human sexuality currently coming to a head, particularly in the United Methodist Church, today’s poignant reading from Paul is a vibrant reminder that the sins of one group ought not to be categorized worse than the sins of another.  Telling coarse jokes, or spewing expletives, and even foolish talk seems to be of little consequence, matched up against sexual immorality and rampant greed.  However, Paul lumps them all together and calls it all worthless deeds of evil and darkness.  He flatly says, expose that nonsense; don’t take part in it, or make excuses for that kind of behavior.  Wouldn’t you just love it if Paul didn’t beat around the bush so much?
Paul’s blunt rebuke for ungodly behavior is no stranger to me.  Years ago, in a new pastorate, I met a church member for the first time in the nursing home.  She was struggling with the fading strength of age, complicated by dementia.  Her family told me before I went that Grandma didn’t have long to live.  So, when I arrived at the home I introduced myself and asked her to share her faith story with me.  She immediately began to tell about the revival that was held when she was a young girl, and how she’d served Jesus at that church in this way and that way.  When there was a brief pause in the recounting of the last 70 years, I asked if she was secure in her heart that when she left this world she would meet Jesus in heaven.  She said, Oh, yes, young man.  I know I’m going to heaven, and if you want to get there too, YOU’D BETTER CHANGE YOUR WAYS!  Granny had nailed me like Paul the Apostle, right where I live.
Funny, I don’t remember much else we may have talked about on that visit.  What I do remember is being caught up short about how in world she knew I was such a sinner.  This was the first time we’d laid eyes on each other, and she didn’t know me from Adam’s housecat. 
On one level I knew it was the dementia speaking, but on another level, spiritually speaking, she was spot-on; I was (and am) a sinner.  And it makes little difference if it’s greed, coarse speech, foolishness, gossip, anger, lust, or homosexuality; how much, or what kind of sin does it take to make one a sinner?  When you think about it, it’s kind of like robbing banks, or killing, or lying; one will do!
And so, this morning I’m thinking particularly about how United Methodists will treat each other in the coming days at the meetings where they’ll try to work on how to part and go separate ways, as opposed to staying together like two fighting cats with their tails tied together.  Or how the people I know who populate the churches I serve (along with their pastor) will treat our community.  We are, as Paul the Apostle (and Granny the nursing home sage) said, supposed to be about the business of changing our ways to be more like imitators of God’s godliness, and less of the other!
For You Today

You and I won’t be able to solve every bit of what’s wrong with the world, or even within our own hearts by lunchtime today, but we can start to bend our ways to His ways with a season of prayer that shines a little light on our darkness.
You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day!

Go to VIDEO


[1] Title Image:   Pixabay.com    Unless noted, Scripture quoted from The New Living Translation©

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Love Like a King

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.  Romans 12:21(NLT)

There is a hinge that holds Romans 11 and 12 together.  In Romans 1-11, you read all about God’s gracious sacrifice of grace for our sins.  The great divide between grace and duty begins with the hinge that connects chapter 12.  Paul tells us that, as a response to all that grace he described in chapters 1-11, we are to offer our lives to Him in service.
And when that is so in the life of a believer, what happens to us is similar to the life of a caterpillar as he changes to a butterfly in a cocoon.  God uses His grace to transform a believer into a different strain of the human species – a child of God, born from above, living a life of sacrifice – in His name. 
The practical conclusion about that change is that our theology – what we know about God – must determine and drive the actions of our everyday lives.  We follow Jesus, not the world’s fads, customs and behaviors; otherwise…. why bother?
The twelfth chapter of Paul’s letter to the Roman believers is all about relationships, not just how we treat one another, but how we act and work together, so we can serve as God’s ambassadors to the world. 
The “relationship” is described in one, Biblical word…agape’, the God-kind of love!  This morning we look at two very important truths about how to live in that love.
Genuine (in relationships)

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.    Romans 12:9 (NLT)

To be genuine in relationships is the foundation of Christian living.  If there was ever a character trait which does not conform to this world’s ways, it is truthfulness. 
A little girl had developed a bad habit; she was always lying.  She was given a St. Bernard dog for her birthday, she went out and told all the neighbors that she had been given a lion.  The mother took her aside and said, “I told you not to lie.  You go upstairs and tell God you are sorry; promise God you will not lie again.” 
The little girl went upstairs, said her prayers, and then came down again.  Her mother asked, “Did you tell God you are sorry?”  The little girl replied, “Yes, I did.  And God said sometimes He finds it hard to tell my dog from a lion, too.”[2] 
A Christ-follower who has submitted his/her body as a living, holy sacrifice, and is transformed by God’s grace is genuine; being false in relationships in any form is a form of lying.  God hates it because it destroys relationships.
Gracious (to all people)

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.   Romans 12:10 (NLT) 

There is a tendency to tear-down one another today, especially in American culture.  The old word “gossip” is generally thought of as being a “behind the scenes” or “behind the back activity”. 
It isn’t even that quiet these days!  Today even the ugly attitudes and rudeness of anger and careless words are flung around like cow dung in a pasture.  The Scottish preacher Alexander MacLaren once wrote:  Ugly Christianity is not Christ's Christianity.
Gossip is the opposite of gracious.  You cannot take delight in honoring anyone if you’re willing to gossip about him or her. 

A gossip separates the closest of friends.  Proverbs 16:28b(GWT)

There’s no room in any theology connected with Jesus Christ that includes in-your-face attitudes, or rudeness.  In our relationships we must be gracious towards one another.
There is an apocryphal story of Abraham that tells of a traveling stranger.  Abraham saw the old man coming along the way, very weary, and his feet bleeding.  With true hospitality he invited the old man to share his meal and to lodge with him for the night.  When Abraham noticed he asked no blessing on the meal, he enquired why, and the man said, "I am a fire worshipper and acknowledge no other god."  At this Abraham grew angry and sent him from his tent.  Soon after, God called to Abraham and asked, "Where is the old man I sent to you?"  Abraham told God he'd sent the infidel away.  The Lord answered in reply, "I have cared for him for over a hundred years, even though he has dishonored me.  Could you not endure him one night and so prove to him God's love?" 
Servanthood is not popular these days.  However, Jesus never claimed that following Him would make us popular on this earth. 
He DID say that our reward in HEAVEN would be great!
In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; Let the church say “Amen”!

Go to VIDEO


[1] Title Image: Courtesy of Pixabay.com
[2] Illustrations Unlimited© 1988 by James S. Hewett. All Rights Reserved.

Monday, October 29, 2018

Craving Spiritual Milk

Monday, October 29, 2018

So get rid of all evil behavior.  Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech.  Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation.  Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.  1 Peter 2:1-3(NLT)

Peter said God’s requirement for followers of Jesus was to put aside deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech.  (Boy, some people would have nothing to do!)  
That phrase “putting aside” is in the Greek aorist tense.  It indicates something that is done “once-for-all”.  It’s like taking off a garment, laying it on the ground, and never again picking it up.  In other words, we don’t just cut-back on our maliciousness and hypocrisy – we give it up altogether! 
Now, Peter wasn’t saying this just to lay out some rules, so preachers would have something to rant about during revivals.  There is a purpose to laying aside all that trash kind of behavior; the purpose is to grow into the likeness of Jesus Christ. 
If we are to become an exemplary part of the Body of Christ it will mean laying-aside all self-centeredness.  I have known some saved people who are mean-spirited and just plain “hard to get along with”.  Instead of letting the grace of the Lord Jesus transform them into mellow and gracious people, it seems the longer they live, the more demanding they become.  They make life miserable for everyone around them.
How can you prevent that?  You can do what Peter said: 

You are coming to Christ, who is the living cornerstone of God’s temple. He was rejected by people, but he was chosen by God for great honor.  And you are living stones that God is building into his spiritual temple.  1 Peter 2:4-5a(NLT)

The phrase coming to Christ indicates an habitual approach.  Peter said we are to grow by [habitually] taking in the sincere milk of the Word.  That’s how babies grow…they take in nourishment at every opportunity.  They eat habitually! 
So here is a question for you:
Is prayer and Bible study habitual with you?
As a pastor I have often been in the privileged position of watching the last number of months, days and hours of people who are getting ready to exit this world.  One of the surest signs that the end is near is when the person refuses food.  An appetite is required for health. 
My friend, if you want to be true to the Lord Who died for you, your appetite for growing as a disciple needs to be fed.  If you don’t feed it, it is a sign that you’d rather live closer to spiritual death than robust Christian life! 
For You Today
This daily devotional is more like a spiritual snack than a full, hearty meal.  If you want to be like your big brother, Jesus, spiritual food and spiritual exercise are necessary on Monday through Saturday, not just Sunday mornings.
You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road; have a blessed day.

Go to VIDEO


[1] Title Image: Courtesy of Pixabay.com

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Bloody Coat; Broken Family

Wednesday, December 21, 2016
This is the account of Jacob and his family. When Joseph was seventeen years old, he often tended his father’s flocks.  He worked for his half brothers, the sons of his father’s wives Bilhah and Zilpah.  But Joseph reported to his father some of the bad things his brothers were doing.  Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age.  So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe.  But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them.  They couldn’t say a kind word to him.  One night Joseph had a dream, and when he told his brothers about it, they hated him more than ever.  “Listen to this dream,” he said.  “We were out in the field, tying up bundles of grain.  Suddenly my bundle stood up, and your bundles all gathered around and bowed low before mine!”  His brothers responded, “So you think you will be our king, do you?  Do you actually think you will reign over us?”  And they hated him all the more because of his dreams and the way he talked about them.  Genesis 37:2-8(NLT)
Evans Brown taught me a lot about community.  I arrived in the small town of Greenville, Florida in 1996 to serve the little church on the hill.  Evans was a church member, and for fun he ran the local electric cooperative.  Mr. Brown  was a fine, personable, upstanding, but usually quiet man.  Just not that first week.
During my first week Evans came by in his old pickup which had holes in the muffler and built before shock absorbers became popular.  For three hours we rode every back dusty road in that part of Madison County, with Evans schooling me on whose Aunt or cousin twice-removed  used to live there...and all their family history.  He included stories of barn-raisings, woodsheds and family dirty laundry lists.  It seemed Evans and his wife Shirley were part of the family tree in each story.  Whenever we passed a house the story always sounded like it was Shirley’s third-cousin, twice’t removed married to her great Aunt’s neighbor who happened to be the founder of Greenville and great-grandfather to th’ boy that owned the bulldog down at the University of Georgia.
My tour guide and his truck with wheels made of rock dropped me and my aching back at the church late in the afternoon.  Before I got a few steps away Evans called out:  And by th’ way, Preacher, a bit o' friendly advice - don't pass around nothin' bad 'bout nobody aroun’ heyah; seems like we're all kinda tied together in this town.
Joseph and his brothers were all that, and more!  Truth be told, it is community which defines us, refines us, and eventually buries us – some for better, some for worse. 
Joseph’s problem was he had a mouth to match his imagination.  He was transparent and truthful, but lacked the art of discretion.  After all, you can’t help having the kind of dreams you have, but you certainly don’t have to blab about how you dreamed your brothers will someday be your servants.  It also didn’t help that their father Jacob gave Joseph a coat that marked him as the favorite. 
That community was doomed to heartache!

For You Today

What about your community?  What is it that you’re doing to help that school, that office, that family, or the postal worker who delivers your mail?  How are you contributing to the defining, refining or burying of the Josephs in your neighborhood?
You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road…have a blessed day!
NOTES

[i] Title image: Domenico Fiasella [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Friday, August 26, 2016

Rumor Mill

                                                                                                 Friday, August 26, 2016
Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.   Proverbs 18:8(NLT)
It was so long ago when I read words that stung, instructed, appalled, and changed me.  The words were by Alan Redpath, a pastor and author who wrote, I once formed a mutual encouragement fellowship at a time of stress in one of my pastorates.  The members subscribed to a simple formula applied before speaking of any person or subject that was perhaps controversial.

T – Is it TRUE?
H – Is it HELPFUL?
I – Is it INSPIRING?
N – Is it NECESSARY?
K – Is it KIND?[ii]

The meaning, of course, centers on the Biblical criteria for passing information along about someone who is not present to hear the words.

I wish I could play the tapes of all my life’s conversations in an instant, and find that I have never been guilty of gossip.  I know that’s not possible.  I am as guilty as any of you.  But there is one thing I can do about gossip; I can refuse to be part of it in the future.  I can squash it whenever it comes my way. 

I can ask God to help me tame my tongue.  I am one who needs that help.

What do you do when someone is trying to unload some gossip in your direction?  Bill Gothard suggests that we should ask five questions before listening to a carrier of an evil report:

     1.     What is your reason for telling me?  Widening the circle of gossip only compounds the problem.  

     2.     Where did you get your information?  Refusal to identify the source of information is a sure sign of an evil report.   

     3.     Have you gone to those directly involved?  Spirituality is not measured by how well we expose an offender but by how effectively we restore an offender.  

     4.     Have you personally checked out all of the facts?  Even facts become distorted when not balanced with other facts or when given with negative motives.  

     5.     Can I quote you if I check this out?

On this last, and most important question, when a person is not willing to have his or her words brought into solving the problem…chances are about 100% they really don’t want to help the person – they really just want to gossip.  They’ve got what the Proverb writer called a dainty morsel sunk deep into their heart, and they just can’t wait to feel the power rush of blabbing it all over town.

For You Today

If you’ve found yourself at times tempted with spreading rumors and gossip, here’s a good way to begin the day, so you can begin to break the habit, pray like this:

Lord, help me guard my tongue this one day;
Help me to bless others with what I say, not curse;
Lord, make me an instrument of peace,
not one who separates brothers and close friends with what I say.
Lord, help me tame my tongue!

You chew on that as you hit the Rocky Road…have a blessed day!

Go to VIDEO

NOTES


[i] Title Image:  By Wayne Short [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
[ii] David L. Olford, ed., A Passion For Preaching, p. 159-160.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Power Under Control


If any think they are religious, and do not bridle their tongues but deceive their hearts, their religion is worthless.  27Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to care for orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.       James 1:26 - 27 (NRSV)

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers and sisters, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.  For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle.  If we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we guide their whole bodies.  Or look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs.  So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits.  How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire!  And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell.  For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God.  From the same mouth come blessing and cursing.  My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.  Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water?  Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs?  No more can salt water yield fresh.                                          James 3:1 - 12 (NRSV)
The power of words…
21Death and life are in the power of the tongue:
Proverbs 18:21a (KJV)                     
James called the tongue a raging fire, totally unable to be tamed.  In his opening statement of the chapter he cautions believers to not enter a ministry of teaching lightly.  The tongue is a dangerous weapon, and there are lives at stake.
James tells us the tongue is like the rudder on a big ship, or a bit in the horse’s mouth.  It is a small thing, behind the scenes, yet the most powerful muscle in the body.  It should be used for the highest of purposes!

Use your words to TEACH

George Lucas is Star Wars’ creator.  He was given a lifetime achievement trophy at the Academy Award ceremonies in 1992.  In accepting he said, I've always tried to be aware of what I say in my films because all of us who make motion pictures are teachers, teachers with very loud voices.[1]
We are all teachers, and we are teaching all the time.  Jesus said you shall be my witnesses (Acts 1.8).  When I attended New York Institute of Technology, I had a creative writing teacher who encouraged me greatly.  I turned in a bad essay – it was full of big words to impress my teacher.  It was poorly conceived, badly composed, and grammatically a stench in the nostrils of all my English teachers combined.  She handed it back to me without a grade.  What she did say was, How about choosing a subject about which you know something?  Write it plain, so I’ll understand it.
     My teacher wasn’t interested in my vast vocabulary – she wanted to help me grow as a writer.  So I went back to the drawing board.  I turned in a story about our church youth camping trip.  It was ok – even a bit sappy.  But her words, written in red on that paper are forever an encouragement:
Russell – this is more like it!  This is good – you should really do something with your writing – submit it to a publisher.
I don’t know how I ever got the courage to submit anything to a publisher, but the mere fact that I ever did is because of a teacher whose name I can’t even remember; her words taught me to try.

Use your words to LEAD

     As in teaching, leading is always happening too.  Leading, good or bad, is a matter of the example we set by our response to the world around us.
After three years of researching gossip, Indiana University sociologist Donna Eder has identified an important dynamic involved in gossip.  Eder discovered that the initial negative statement was not the starting point for gossip.  The critical turning point was found in the response to the initial negative statement.  "She's a real snob," is not the start of gossip.  It's when someone else agrees that the gossip fest begins.
     Eder found that the key is whether or not a negative statement is "seconded".  If a second is provided, gossip ensues.  If not, the conversation changes direction.  "No one ever challenged an evaluation that had been seconded.  Conversely, no matter how cutting the remark, an immediate quibble from a listener could send talk into a less critical direction."
The moral:  you can abort gossip-bound conversations by quickly affirming the person being targeted for negative comments.  Want to know what to say when someone starts to tell you gossip:
"I don't want to hear it;
I don't even believe what they're saying about you."
We have been led with words.  Consider Patrick Henry's resounding: "Give me liberty or give me death."   Remember Nathan Hale's vibrant words: "I regret that I have but one life to give for my country."  Who can forget JFK's inaugural speech and the words: "Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country."  Martin Luther King Jr.'s stirring words "I have a dream" from the Washington D.C. Plaza mobilized the black community four decades ago; those words still ring in our ears.  Words such as those changed the course of history. They challenged our souls and spirits, and as a result we will never be the same.
Words can do the same for people and their perception of themselves. They can be used for good. They can be used to inspire, lift up, motivate, instruct, and empathize.[2]

Use your words to HEAL

Finish this statement with me – Sticks and stones may break my bones, but                             will never hurt me.  You and I know that is not true.  There are people in this room right now that can tell you in a moment the hurt they have received in their lifetime – from words either carefully aimed to wound, or words carelessly dropped that stung just as badly.
A child has a fragile makeup emotionally.  Our words, or temper out of control for just an instant can deliver a blow that will cause a lifetime of punctured dreams and hopes.  We, with our words, can drive someone down a pathway of doubt and second-guessing.
On the other hand, we can speak words of kindness.  The right words can heal a brokenness in someone else.  Once, during a particularly difficult time in the life of the church I was serving, I was discouraged – about ready to give up.  Missy Coleman, (God’s gift of a surrogate Grandmother to me) caught me in the church hallway, took my by the hand, stared up at me with those soft eyes, wisdom-creased face and said in that deep South Georgia comforting kindness:  It’ll be alright….just you wait ‘n see. 
Missy’s words didn’t end the struggle in that church, but it put my heart back together.  And that ended the struggle in me!  I didn’t quit.  Missy gave me the courage to go on.

Use your words to SAVE

When you go to the doctor, sometimes he will ask you to stick out your tongue because he wants to examine it.  He can tell a lot about what’s going on inside you just by looking at your tongue.  The Great Physician can also tell if there is a revival or a riot going on – by your words.
Selwyn Hughes is the author of Everyday Walk with Jesus.  In an interview he told about his grandfather. 
In 1904 Wales had a great Holy Spirit revival when a hundred thousand people were converted in six months without any preaching, just God coming down, touching peoples' lives.  The miners underground would suddenly stop working and cry out to God to become converted.  In schools youth and children would have their heads on the desk weeping, and the teacher, often a Christian, would pray with them, leading them to Christ.
Such was the impact of this movement of the Holy Spirit (this awesome flood of God that was going through Wales), that many of the drinking saloons, the public houses closed down; the magistrates had no cases to conduct.  After six months they were given white gloves as a symbol of the fact that they hadn't worked for six months.
One of the men who was converted in that revival was my grandfather.  He was a miner.  His job was leading the horses that pulled the tubs of coal from the mine.
My grandfather was a blasphemer and had a filthy tongue.  The way he used to train his horses was by swearing at them.  Then he got converted, and for days the horses didn't know what to do because he wouldn't swear at them.  They had to learn a new language.  So even the horses knew there was a revival going on because the change was so dramatic. 
My grandfather then led my mother to Christ.  My mother led my father to Christ.  My father led me to Christ.  So I see myself as a product of that revival.[3]
Paul said we should examine ourselves (1 Co 11.28).  In our context we should call it a tongue checkup. 
n    Are your words teaching valuable character?
n    Are your words leading in positive pathways?
n    Are your words healing?
n    Are your words being used by the Holy Spirit in saving?
If your answers do not satisfy you, here’s how to change:
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.       Philippians 4:8 (KJV)
The tongue is your most powerful muscle.  To have it under control this way is to follow Jesus.  May it be so!


[1] Edwin A. Roberts, Jr., in the Tampa Tribune, April 5, 1992.  Christianity Today, Vol. 36, no. 8
[2] Rev. Billy D. Strayhorn In a sermon, Sticks And Stones, SermonCentral.com
[3] From an interview with Selwyn Hughes, author of Everyday Walk with Jesus Growing Churches, Spring 2001, p.12